I went to my local all you can eat buffet...

And there was this girl that was only choosing vegetables?

I thought, i never seen herbivore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Went to a buffet laid on for taxidermists...

....and absolutely stuffed myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Why is it bad to be a buffet during Valentine’s Day?

Because people always want a-more

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geb69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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I want to open a Chinese food buffet

It will be called "All You Can Eat and Dim Sum"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwiersma26
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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The therapist said I can get over my fear of buffets....

But first, I've got to want to help myself .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Indian buffet

I really like Indian bread, but the buffet I went to had naan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Idont_think
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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This year's Thanksgiving playlist is a buffet by ear, if you will...

The main dish will be Lambchop seasoned with Red Hot Chili Peppers & Salt-n-Pepa.

Accompanied by the side dishes: The Cranberries, Korn, and Black Eyed Peas.

And for dessert we'll have Vanilla Ice..Cream..Cake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What do you tell a Jedi-in-training that struggles to use chopsticks at a Chinese buffet?

Use the forks, Luke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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I went to an "all-you-can-eat" buffet, but it was rubbish.

There was plenty of stuff that I can eat which wasn't there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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I took my friend to an Indian buffet and he complained about the bread.

It turned out to be a Naan issue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slappy_G
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Whenever we go to a buffet, I always ask my wife to get my food for me.

I just can't help myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Warren Buffet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turkishturtles
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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What do you call a venue designed for food fights?

An all you can yeet buffet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PagingDrLecter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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At the last buffet I went to, I ate two plates.

I wish I would have found the food.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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I went to a dinner party yesterday. The hosts are chefs and made all kinds of food, buffet style. I arrived early had some hors d'oeuvres. Then I realized I was thirsty, and I wanted to try the mixed juice drink. At this point everyone else was getting food, so I walked right up and got a cup...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bb5x24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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What did the Hulk say when he was told every superhero loves waffles at the breakfast buffet?

Not all heroes, where crepes?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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What do you call a buffet for sheep?

All you can bleat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/styxdyxx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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I asked a girl out on a date to a buffet tonight...

She said "no thanks, I have a lot on my plate right now."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdas1996
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Local buffet was out of traditional Indian flatbread

I told them it was a naan issue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JAM3SBND
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.

They said I was being too shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/txredwolf11
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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Ever heard of the buffet that lets you eat free if you bring your welsh cattle dog?

I hear its a real corgishborg.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Why was the stopwatch behind when it left the buffet?

It kept going back four seconds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mini_Mega
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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Warren Buffet (self-made billionaire) holds an annual conference for aspiring entrepreneurs.

When they go to lunch during the conference, they eat from the β€œBuffett Buffet.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/realmattmoseley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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The all you can eat seafood buffet had restrictions I didn’t know about :/

I should have read the crab clause

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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I went to a $15 all-you-can-eat buffet and when I got up to refill my plate, the manager said that I wasn’t allowed to get seconds.

I said, β€œWhat happened to β€˜all-you-can-eat for $15?’”

The manager said, β€œThat is all you can eat for $15 dollars.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2010_12_24
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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I changed therapists after my last one hosted a buffet party.

He came up to me and said, "Help yourself."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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I want to open a buffet restaurant with only glutenous foods...

called β€œall you can wheat”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrooveMerchant12
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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I'm always the last one eating at the Chinese buffet

Rice guys finish last.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dannyofangell
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
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Man, Warren Buffet is so goddamned rich.

Every time I go to one of his restaurants they let you eat whatever you want.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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What do you call a buffet with lot's of garlic.

Buffet The Vampire Slayer.

(Made it up at work today and got a polite chuckle.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomosk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2016
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The Mandalorians.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Costemediante
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Did you hear that Nashville's goaltender got thrown out of an all-you-can-eat pasta buffet during the Stanley Cup?

Turns out Pekka Rinne can wreck a penne...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_Stick
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2017
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Why do people at buffets look so stressed?

They have a lot on their plate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wdfowty
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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What's the difference between a toad and a toadstool?

One's in the buffet and the other helps 'em get there!

(I'm sorry if this is bad. I'm not a dad yet, but I'm practicing early)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain_Wah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Went to an Indian buffet for dinner.

I ate until there was naan left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jkozuch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2016
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Working the buffet...

Grabbing some white rice, yellow rice, and some brown rice along the way.

Daughter asks "Why are you getting some of each?"

"'Cos I'm all about ricial diversity."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darthp8r
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2016
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We just ate Indian buffet . . .

I'm going into a food korma.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fendaar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2016
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I went to this restaurant called Warren one time in college

It really was a terrible buffet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnlightendOne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Got my wife at the Chinese buffet

My wife asked me to get her some soup at the buffet but there were no dumplings for the soup. I apologized for returning without the soup knowing that it, "left her wonton".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foment_life
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2014
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Got double dad joked at a buffet.

I was standing in line when I had to sneeze. I sneezed 3 times when an old man came up to me with his wife and said "She thinks you sneezing is funny, but it's snot." Then he said to his wife "He's just trying to make the tissue dance, he put a boogy in it." As a bonus, while I was laughing, the wife groaned and he turned and yelled, " YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR!" Great father's day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maitlandius
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2015
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