The tea leaves were brewing an unrest...

... and they are now trapped in a kettle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My coffee maker said some really horrible things about me while it was brewing my coffee.

That’s the last time I have a dark roast.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend can smell when trouble is brewing...

He's the scenter of a tension.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was brewing my first batch of beer with a friend and he told me to add the seed cones that are used primarily as a bittering, flavoring, and stability agents.

I hopped to it!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried a new drink by the Dicken brewing company

I recommend the hot Dicken Cider... It's delicious.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you insult your coffee beans before brewing them?

To make sure they are well roasted.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aggressive_Pear
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A new study is showing surprising advances in primate evolution: Dr. Thomas Ink, a researcher in southern Africa has found certain groups of apes 'brewing' alcohol by leaving old fruit to stand in water pools then drinking from it and becoming inebriated.

Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pparten
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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I started brewing my own lager called Photon.

It's light beer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?

They have hops.

πŸ‘︎ 264
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPINFV
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Bud worked with a brewing company.

The company made Bud wiser.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agent_Ocelot9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I have mastered the art of brewing tea

It is now my special-tea

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
🚨︎ report
During what historical period did people start brewing reduced-calorie beer?

The Enlitenment.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did people start brewing mead?

To Get buzzed

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Ol_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Some American scientists were planning on brewing beer on the moon...

but then they realized that they had already gotten a Buzz on.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ottodidakt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Brewing a pun at work today.

I was working at the cafe today and the chef dropped off some assorted fresh muffins to sell that morning, when my friend picked one up and asked,

"As these friands?" I don't know, but we're not paying for them are we?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krs1one1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
🚨︎ report
I wanna start home brewing beer, but I have a question.

If I put root beer in a square cup, does it become just beer?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JammmJam
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a well brewed book?

A novel-tea

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BedHeadBread
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Lipton probably saw many different pitchers of its brewed beverages before settling for the one on its iconic package...

They auditioned many before choosing the best model tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Just brew it!

I’m building a website for a new cafe and Coworking space opening in the area. The owner loves humour and wants to reflect that in the site. Does anyone have any great puns or other humorous ideas to do with cafes or working spaces? Thanks a million!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Instinct13now
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Gonna brew and market my own beer, and call it β€œResponsibly.”

Advertising slogan will be a doddle: β€œPlease drink Responsibly.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I went into the kitchen and saw a hurricane making a pot of tea

I thought hmm, there's a storm brewing

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/northernsou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Vulture Problems (and apologies to Kansas)

The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.

"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"

The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rjsquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
There I was this morning, sitting and drinking Coffee in my slippers , and I thought to myself..

..I really need to clean a few mugs around here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was having an argument with my wife about who should brew the coffee each morning. She said, β€œYOU should do it because YOU get up first and then we won't have to wait as long to get our coffee.”

I went full sexist pig, β€œYOU'RE in charge of cooking around here woman and YOU should do it, because it's YOUR job and I can just wait for my coffee.”

She replied coldly, β€œNo, YOU should do it and besides, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”

I guffawed, β€œI can’t believe that, show me!”

So she fetched the Bible and opened to the New Testament and showed me the top of several pages, that it indeed says, β€œHEBREWS!”

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
How does Moses make tea?

He brews.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhaddyJonez
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
How does the KKK brew Whiskey?

In a Cracker Barrel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"

"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How do Finnish people brew their coffee?

They use a perkele-tor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
He Brews it
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheShinyLizard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the secret to great cold brew coffee?

Using a brrrrr grinder

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewestAckount
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If Heineken is brewed in Holland...

Does that mean their beer is Hollandaise sauce?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ransidmeat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A church by where we live has a cafe called He Brews. Pretty funny.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alganay
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Gabe was muttering incoherently. He'd been up all night studying for the history exam.

I poked my head in his room, and he was blathering about how he wanted to quit school and be a truck driver.

"I'm gonna get one of those big beautiful Peterbuilts, with all the running lights everywhere. Or maybe a Mack with an extended cab..."

"Better brew him a pot of coffee," I told his mother. "The final is in a half hour, and he's only semi-conscious."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker

Would it leave a brews?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad once tried making coffee. When he tasted it he said "ahh, like making love in a canoe."

I asked if it was that good, his smile faded and he looked me dead in the eye as he said no, its fucking close to water. He poured it down the drain without losing focus and walked out of the kitchen

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Never play hoops with a brew master.

They got hops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boundarydissolver
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Learning how to brew a new kind of tea...

involves a steep learning curve.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoundTrax
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2016
🚨︎ report
A Scandinavian farmer...

A Scandinavian farmer discovered that brewing herbs and spices and mixing it with some sugar made for an excellent and healthy way to start the day.

He called it Svede tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a great english brew?

Quality.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poega
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Brewed some beer, and my girlfriend suggested this name
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2017
🚨︎ report
I started writing a review of this new brew pub

but tore it up after my first draft.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Denda
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
🚨︎ report
How did Moses make his tea in the morning?

Hebrewed it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The number-one-selling brand of tea among US police officers is called β€œTally”

Police brew Tally tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skepticCanary
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my South African buddy if he knew how to make beer.

He said yeah brew

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Looks like Walmart's beer inventory is tanking due to sales imgur.com/bOgcjnB
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainMorgansRum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I had this joke about coffee but I can't tell it yet.

It's still brewing

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZSkellActual
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Moses make tea?

He brews

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jradio610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Moses make tea?

He brews it

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsYoAzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report

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