She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
How can you tell a blonde has been blowing the car horn?
All the lipstick on the steering wheel.
Guy 1: I heard that the main character kept stabbing people on the set filming Legally Blonde. I can't remember her full name. It was Reese..... something. She just kept attacking people one by one but I don't know who it was.
Guy 2: Witherspoon
Guy 1: No...... with her knife. Who would be that stupid to use a spoon to hurt over.
Me: "Yes, I have one that's just under two."
Blonde: "I may be blonde, but I know how many one is!!'
She fell out of the tree.
In a flash she said, "Buffalo Bill."
She threw away all the w's.
1st blonde: "I'm going to be the first woman to land on the Sun."
2nd blonde: "Don't be stupid, you'll burn."
1st blonde: "Nah!! I've got a plan. I'm going at night."
Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks. The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow." "Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says. The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof." "That's just a sack of puppies" they say. The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."
"6 please. I could never eat 12."
She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. I said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' she answered, “They're watch dogs'!
After she makes and edits her video she starts to take pictures of her hands. Her mom walks by seeing this and asks "Why are you taking so many pictures of your thumbs?". The blond girl replies " If you want people to watch your YouTube videos you gotta have great thumbnail pictures."
She said, "Awww, at least you have company. I wish I had a dinosaur."
You’d have thought one of them would have seen it...
Last years hide and seek champion.
"Were the questions hard?" asked the second
"Hamster?" she laughed, "That's a snake".
Artificial intelligence
A couple were watching the news.
"Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident," said the newscaster.
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing... "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"
She wanted to open a shavings account.
It was the highlight of my day.
You'd think at least one of them would have seen it
Because she was told, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.”
A Barbie-queue
Doctor: "Your finger is broken".
Too blondes walk into a bar...
A barbie queue
The brunette said, well why dont you take it to Walmart, it's the largest retailer in the world.
Pull the pin and throw it back
Because the directions said lather rinse repeat.
A blonde woman walks past a store window. She sees a sign that says "we do not sell to blondes" in the window, but goes in anyways.
She finds an employee and points at a TV and says "I want that TV!". But the employee says "sorry ma'am, we don't sell to blondes."
She decides to go home and try again the next day. She dyes her hair and puts on different clothes. She walks in, finds an employee, points at a TV and says "I want that TV!". But again, the employee says "I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't sell to blondes."
The woman is now very angry. She goes home to try a third time. She cuts her hair, dyed it again, puts on makeup and new clothes, and tries again the next day.
She walks in and finds another employee, points at the TV, and says "I want that TV!". But for a third time, the employee says "ma'am, I'm sorry, but we don't sell to blondes."
At this point the woman is furious. She exclaims, "How did you know I was I blonde?"
The employee calmly answers, "Ma'am, that's a microwave."
((My dad told me this one.))
So a blonde, brunette, and a ginger are running from the cops, they run into a barn, the blonde hides behind a barrel, the brunette hides behind a horse, the ginger hides behind a cow, the cops show up and yell "come out we know you're in there!" The brunette says "neigh neigh," the ginger says "moo moo," the blonde says "barrel barrel."
It's a bit of a basic joke but it makes me chuckle so wanted to share it.😁👍
Artificial intelligence.
Because it said “concentrate”
I responded, "ah so you're a red herring"
Step 1. Go to a farm.
Step 2. Go to the chicken coop.
Step 3. Find a baby chicken and pick it up.
In case someone comes and doesn't want a drink.
