My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night
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︎ Mar 15 2021
What does a blanket detective do?
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︎ Apr 11 2021
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Why do weighted blankets calm you down?
Because compression is the opposite of tension!
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︎ Mar 16 2021
I saw an Elsa blanket
I didnβt get it though, the cold never really bothered me anyways.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Small Pepper needs a blanket
Dad: Can you please put a little blanket or a tiny sweater on him?
He's a little chilli!
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︎ Mar 29 2021
You are in a cold room without any blanket and Sweater what will you do?
Go to the corners because it's 90Β° there.
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︎ Feb 17 2021
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
I did because I put it on sleep mode.
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︎ Dec 28 2020
Why did the kid wrap all his books in a blanket?
So that he could cover the entire syllabus.
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︎ Dec 13 2020
What do you call a blessed blanket?
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︎ Nov 20 2020
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Son: Dad, do you have another blanket by you? Iβm cold
Dad: Go stand in the corner son, itβs 90Β° over there
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︎ Sep 01 2020
I get a little shady when I'm in blankets.
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︎ Sep 29 2020
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets off Amazon but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I used to hate the electric blanket
But the last few nights Iβve been warming up to it.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
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︎ Aug 11 2020
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
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︎ Aug 09 2020
A man started wearing a blanket to the office
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
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︎ Jun 09 2020
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
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︎ Apr 12 2020
last night, my wife dramatically ripped the blankets off me
Donβt worry iβll recover
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︎ May 31 2019
It was fun being a spy til they put me in a windy city with only a blanket for camouflage
My cover was blown constantly
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︎ Jun 17 2020
I just saw a homeless man get arrested for cloaking himself in a blanket the cops falsely accused him of stealing...
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︎ May 17 2020
Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?
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︎ Aug 15 2019
Prosecutor: "In the case of who illegally made a blanket out of patches,
we call the defendant quilty"
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︎ Mar 13 2020
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out
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︎ Feb 22 2020
I woke up in the middle of the night and freaked out when I noticed all the blankets on my bed were missing.
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︎ Oct 16 2019
"I'm going undercover" is such a blanket statement.
Besides, you should be keeping that under wraps...
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︎ Dec 18 2019
My dad just handed me a pig in a blanket Dad: Would you care for one of these
Me: Only if it needed me..
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︎ Dec 30 2019
Itβs a security blanket.
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︎ Aug 26 2018
If you say something in bed, is it a blanket statement
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︎ Mar 14 2019
Last night my bf asked me to hand him the blankets...
As I pulled the comforter over him I said, "I got you covered."
I proceeded to laugh for 1 solid minute, he did NOT think it was funny.
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︎ Jul 02 2015
I only have a few hours to finish weaving this blanket.
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︎ Feb 24 2019
I started a band called "Blanket"
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︎ Jan 31 2021
I'm starting a band called Blanket.
π︎ 25
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︎ Feb 01 2021
What did the blanket said when it fell of the bed?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 06 2020
My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night.
π︎ 17k
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︎ Mar 16 2019
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
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︎ May 30 2020
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 06 2020
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
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︎ Feb 17 2020
Last night, my girlfriend dramatically ripped the blankets off me...
Donβt worry Iβll recover.
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︎ Feb 14 2020
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
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︎ Nov 28 2019
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
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︎ Jun 14 2019
I woke up in the middle of the night and discovered all my blankets were missing.
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︎ Jan 18 2020
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
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︎ Dec 13 2019
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
π︎ 11
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︎ Oct 25 2019
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed ?
π︎ 12
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︎ Oct 08 2019
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 01 2019
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