Blanketing Puns

I’ve got you covered

For being an accessory to a kid napping.

He's going to change his name to Comforter.

A customer of mine just told me this one lol

but he can't fire me! I quilt!

Oh Sheet.

>!There's a large, warm, comfy piece of fabric on my bed.!<

But I will recover

I asked if it was womb temperature.

I chased after them and shouted, "You can hide, but you can't run!"

Stand in the corner.

Because it was a little chili.

All comforters are comfortable

A spelling bee!

And a real sheety husband at that.

until it folded

She mustup a perfectly good snack!

We're a cover band.

I pleaded 'not quilty'.

I told her that option was off the table.

I said, "Did you try translating from Croatian?"

I sometimes go to the “Idiot of the Year” event in our prairie town, where each year hundreds of people from the town and nearby villages gather in the community hall for jokes and a guessing game. It starts with various people coming on stage to tell bad jokes, and finishes with the guessing game, which involves the master of ceremonies pulling a blanket off a mystery object on stage. The first person to name the object gets the “Idiot of the Year” trophy, which is an old shoe nailed to a block of wood. Three years ago, the object was an old bicycle, and Melvin Sneeter, who works in the local hardware store, was the first to yell out “bicycle”. Two years ago, Cynthia Frizzle, a housewife from the nearby town of Spuzzum, was correct with “tricycle”. And last year, the object was a bit more difficult, so the trophy wasn't awarded, because nobody knew the name of that one-wheeled contraption that you must balance and pedal.

Call the Hambulance

I am never going back to my acoustic one.

But that's just a blanket statement

She always ends up getting cold feet

I got you covered

snow little feet.

Because they taste like sheet

I told her he was just trying to get lucky.

He was undercover!

We're a cover band

They call it Microsoft

A hand full of sheet.

“I’m playing hide-‘n-cheek”

But some people may not agree with a blanket statement like that.

Or is that just a blanket statement?

To cover their butt quacks.

He’s Stone Cold

Oh sheet!

Oh sheet!

But I will recover.

I'm never going back to my acoustic one.

Oh sheet!!

But I will recover.

But I will recover.

Oh sheeet.