You could say it was spawntaneous
Cabin crew says he was air-born.
After months of wanting a Purple highlighter for my desk, I finally found one.
It was the highlight of my day.
Air-born!
and yet according to Kraft Dinner, I’m a 4-person family
The water break...
Said this during a hike so it was all the more sweeter to hear the only two dad's chuckle.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
There's no plaque.
De-calf-inated
A Chimp off the old Glock
An Ariestocrat
Thank you for your cervix.
Names him "Dawson".
We named him Carson.
The Nyantivity
She gave him a weigh in a manger.
Theyre calling it "Son-Block"
it was take-out.
Before that nobody addressed the elephant in the womb.
Transparent.
now that she's de-calf-einated.
Decalfinated
I was dad on arrival.
He called them Jose and Hose B......
For now, they're just cell mates.
Labor & delivery at your cervix!
They all said, “Ewwww.”
He thought about it for a bit and said "I am off-duty in 10mins, meet me in the car park"
The lobstetrician
I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond.
We're having a midwife crisis.
A nurse comes up to the first man and says, “Congratulations! You are the proud father of a pair of twins!”
“That’s funny...” the man said, “I work for Twin Peaks!”
Another nurse comes into the room and goes to the second man and says, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to triplets!”
“That’s funny...” the second man said, “ I work for the 3M company!”
Yet another nurse comes into the room and says to the third man, “Congratulations! Your wife has just given birth to quadruplets!”
“That’s so funny...” said the third man, “I work at the Four Seasons Hotel!”
The last man is groaning and whining in obvious agony, “What’s wrong?” the other men ask.
“I work at Seven Eleven.” He replied.
Happy Fathers Day!
I said, well, they do have the same genes.
The doctor called in the woman’s brother from the waiting room and asked if he would like to name the children. The brother agrees.
When the mother wakes up, the doctor informs her that her brother has named the children while she was unconscious. She said “Oh no... my brother is an idiot. What did he name the kids?” The doctors replied “Well, the girl’s name is Denise!” “Oh, that’s not so bad! And the boy?” “Denephew”
De-calf-inated
Then it’s de-calf-inated.
So, I have an uncle once removed.
He is reportedly in a stable condition
I named him Carson
He named his son Carson
Through Sea-section.
I have an uncle, once removed.
De-calf-nated
We named him Carson.
