Once I became a parent, I finally understood the . . .
scene where Yoda gets so tired of answering Luke's questions that he just dies.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian...
Itβs like Iβd never met herbivore
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︎ Mar 07 2021
Scientists became so bored of watching the Earth spin that after 24 hours
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︎ Mar 19 2021
What did the dad say to his son when he became afraid of the full moon?
"Don't worry! It's just a phase it's going through!"
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︎ Mar 01 2021
My girlfriend totally changed when she became a vegan
It's like I never knew herbivore.
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︎ Mar 25 2021
I sent a circle to college, and it quickly became the smartest object on the planet.
Seriously, it had 360 degrees!
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︎ Mar 05 2021
Did you hear about the chemistry teacher who became upset?
Apparently he told a dad joke in class and it got no reaction.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
My friend became monk recently. I asked him if he'd take a vow of silence, but he didn't answer
I guess it goes without saying
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︎ Feb 04 2021
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I became a father today, but no dad jokes are coming to me. Iβm pretty bummed.
Luckily the neighbor hit me with a few good jokes as we got home! Cheered me right up!
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︎ Jun 24 2020
A murderer once stopped killing, became lazy, and was only enjoying life. He became a
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 04 2021
I hear Ms. Parton became a Buddhist teacher...
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︎ Feb 01 2021
My friend and I were talking about another friend who became a preacher when he suddenly showed up seeking advice for his sermon...
I said, "well, speak of the devil!"
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︎ Jan 03 2021
I became a professional fisherman...
But discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Have you heard of the drummer that became an author?
I heard he uses a lot of cymbalisms in his works
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Who became an old man when they were conceived?
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︎ Dec 16 2020
If DC, Puerto Rico, and Guam became states, the US would be truly indivisible
Since 53 states is a prime number
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︎ Jan 09 2021
My poor friend recently became a baker.
He really kneaded the dough.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What would happen if Iran became communist?
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
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︎ Oct 18 2020
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
what did the baker say when he became an umpire?
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︎ Nov 01 2020
What happened when the chicken became possessed?
It became a poultrygeist and laid deviled eggs. They had to bring in a priest for an eggsorcism.
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︎ Oct 28 2020
What did the maths professor do when he became constipated?
He worked it out with a pencil.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 30 2020
800 in German Sounds Like if Zeus Became a Scottish Highlander
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I became a vegetarian
Becoming vegetarian was a huge missed steak.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but Iβd never met herbivore.
So I said lettuce eat.
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︎ Sep 19 2020
My friend used to clean house for a famous singer-guitar player, til he died in 2016. She then became a police investigator...
She dusted for Prince now she's dusting for prints.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Was at a dinner with a chemist when all of a sudden she became angry and starting throwing sodium chloride at me.
I'm pretty sure that's a salt.
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︎ Aug 10 2020
What would Vin Diesel's catchphrase be if he became a wrestler ?
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Finally became an astronaut
It was totally out of this world
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 26 2020
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Did you hear about the janitor who became president?
He wanted to make sweeping changes.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 19 2020
What happened to the sand just before it became a castle?
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 04 2020
What do you call the European king who became a noodle chef?
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︎ Sep 08 2020
My friend from high school became an engineer or something.
He would design vehicles and stuff like no other.
One day he called me and said he had a very special design planned for his next vehicle.
So I asked him: "What's the big design you're working on?"
He said: "Its a secret. You'll find out later."
A few months later, he sends me a picture of this amazing motorbike that's entirely made of wood and nothing else. I called him back and told him I really liked it and if I could ride it.
He replied in a deep and depressing voice: "You can't I'm sorry. I threw it away."
I asked him why he threw away such a masterpiece he worked so hard to make.
He replied: "I tried everything..... But it just wooden start!"
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︎ Aug 21 2020
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to rent a space together to park our cars.
We have....a lot in common.
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︎ May 25 2020
What do you call a woman that almost became a singer?
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 16 2020
My friend just became CEO of a garbage bag company.
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︎ May 21 2020
Little-known fact about Alexander Hamilton: he was prone to holding on to his old handkerchiefs, even when they became used and soiled.
Whenever asked about this, he would boldly proclaim that he βwas not throwing away his snotβ.
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︎ Jul 12 2020
A wizard dad became concerned that whenever his son went to the bathroom, he wasn't giving himself privacy.
One day, the dad went to use the bathroom, thinking it was unused. There was a loud crash and he sighed, staring down at the scattered mess on the floor.
"Please, son," he said, "will you quit leaving the door a jar?"
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︎ Jul 29 2020
If someone lived in Egypt's capitol and became a chiropractor...
... they could call themselves "The Cairo Chiro".
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 23 2020
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood!!
I come from a long line of fathers...
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︎ May 15 2020
I thought there would be more training when I became a garbageman,
but you really just pick it up as you go
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︎ Jun 02 2020
Like most people, I was able to recite the entire alphabet from a young age. But then I became an ordained minister.
I now pronounce U man and wife.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 19 2020
It was so hot & humid, even the bee's perm became unmanageable...
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 14 2020
Scientists became so bored of watching the Earth spin that after 24 hours
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
My girlfriend changed a lot since she became vegan.
It's like I've never seen herbivore.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Aug 25 2019
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