Bear Hunting Puns

So I went home.

You cut a hole in the ice and put frozen peas around it. So when they go to take a pea, you kick them in the ice hole.

...so they went home.

Their method for hunting polar bears was the most interesting. They would start a fire out on a deep snow bank, and essentially melt a hole in the snow. Once the hole was big enough they would stop feeding it firewood and let it burnout on its own. Once the fire had gone down and was nothing more than smoldering ashes with a little bit of smoke, they would line the edge of the fire pit with snow peas.

All they had to do from there is hide and wait. Once a bear caught scent of the smoke and starts to investigate, the bear would eventually start eating some of the peas. Then they sneak up behind it and kick it in the ash-hole.

So the other day, me and a foreign dude I know went hunting in the woods (you know, since it’s such an classically American thing (I know)). Anyways, so while we’re there, we get attacked by a four armed bear. Luckily, we were able to kill it before it killed us. Then I realized how rare this was, so we decided to take a couple of arms each as a trophy. So I let him, the foreigner, have the left pair, while I, as an American, got the right two bear arms.

My Dad: See the problem with hunting bears is you have to bait them and they might not take the bait.

Me: You know what they say, "If you can't bait 'em, join 'em."

So we went home.

On his way to a bear hunting trip, the man saw a road sign that said “Bear Left” so he went back home.