Yesterday I saw a man throw his toilet of the balcony

some shit really went down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afc1224
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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A woman tripped and fell off the balcony and had been cut in half. Still conscious, she was quickly rushed to the hospital...

Manager: what did the doctor say to the woman’s family? Me: after thinking ...yea I’m not sure Manager: β€œshe was ALL RIGHT.” Me: oh, I thought you were going to say β€œThere’s nothing LEFT.” The manager at work got a kick out of that because that was an answer he has never gotten before lol figured I’d post it here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slammin_Salmon94
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Why did the Mexican throw his wife off the balcony?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/plxo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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A husband and wife architect team were planning their next project . . .

The domineering wife thought the house needed a cantilevered balcony while the husband thought that it would ruin the aesthetic of the design. She told him he was an idiot and to keep his mouth shut. His friends hated to see her treat him so badly.
They always said β€œWhy cantilever?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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A man and his fence.

One day a man looks out his window and finds one of his fence posts dug up and put in the ground somewhere else.

For the next couple of days this continues on but with a new fence post.

Yesterday was the last straw, so the men sat on his balcony all night to see who the culprit was.

Sure enough at 2am a couple of teenagers show up and get ready to dig up another fence post.

Man: "you goddamn teenagers! Stop digging up old posts and reposting them!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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President John Tyler may have been the father of the Dad Joke

Some Background Info

On March 4, 1841, William Henry Harrison became the 9th President of the United States, with John Tyler as his VP. Exactly one month later, Harrison died, leaving Tyler as the 10th President of the United States. Tyler was elected as a Whig, but chose many Democrats to work in his administration, and often made decisions in the Democratic favor. This made the Whig party angry, and while the Democrats liked some of his actions, they didn't love him. At the end of his presidency, the Whigs were not going to support reelection efforts, and the democrats just liked other people more. This earned him the nickname, "The President Without A Party."

The Dad Joke

At the very end of his presidency, Mrs. First Lady wanted to have celebration. She invited lots of people over, and they all had a good time on Tyler's lawn. Tyler stood on his balcony, looking over all the people have a joyous time when he announced, "Never again can anybody say that I was a president without a party!" and giggled his way into retirement.

πŸ‘︎ 980
πŸ‘€︎ u/cat_attack_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2016
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Got the wife with this one this morning:

We were staying in a hotel room that had a balcony door that didn’t fully close which causes a lot of city noise to come in.

It’s the morning and we are still in bed when she says, β€œI can’t stand this room!”

I reply, β€œWell, it’s a good thing you’re lying down!”

I was then pummeled with pillows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Akki-
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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So I was mowing our lawn the other day and I wasn't wearing any shoes.

My dad shouted at me from the balcony and said "If you cut off your legs mowing that lawn, don't you come running to me".

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
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Dad joked all over My gf last night

We were sitting outside on our balcony.

Her: hey will you switch spots with me? I like the view from your chair better.

Me: fine. You're lucky I'm a stand up guy though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizenedwallaby
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2016
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Just found this sub, am I going to be a dad?

Seriously, give it to me straight; are people all a bunch of liars, when they say that dad jokes makes them cringe and groan? I mean, I checked the first few pages sorted by top, and I haven't realised that this is EXACTLY my kind of humour until now. I had to keep myself from bursting into laughter at the office today multiple times. So, am I going to be an awesome dad or am I just someone who isn't afraid to admit that dad jokes are the best thing in the world?

Also, came up with my own swedish dad joke (translated). I 'd take a picture from a hill or a balcony and caption it with "Today's high point" (high point= swedish expression of highlight, highlight of the day basically)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RevolveDUDE
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
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They're pretty smelly too.

Scene: Before practice with my band, my drummer and I occasionally sit on the balcony and smoke a cigarette. It's extremely windy and we began to talk about our jackets.

Me: This is why I love my jacket. It keeps me incredibly warm

Drummer: Does it break wind?

Me: Yeah, it's really embarrassing when it decides to fart in public.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSascrotch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2014
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