Auditorium Puns

This doesn’t happen with pigeons, though. This is because a coo sticks

The sound from a pigeon does not, because a coo sticks.

This is because of a-coo-sticks.

I have a course in religious symbols at university, and we had an assignment to go around town and take pictures of random religious symbols we would stumble over. Next lecture the Professor had made a collection of the best pictures into a powerpoint and we were to spend two hours analyzing them.
After about an hour we came to this picture of a wiccan pentagram in the window above a animalshelter, and the professor asked: "Why do you think this is here?" before I even had time to think, and stop my self I bursted: Maybe a dyslectic thought it was a PETAgram?
Alot of bored students life got a tad more depressing after that...

Cute girl sits next to me in an auditorium where they're playing dubstep. I turn to her, smiling, and say "I'm really wubbing these subwoofers!" She actually laughed, and we're still together about a year and a half later. :)

I used to play in a community jazz band in my hometown. The instructor was my (at the time) girlfriend's dad, I knew him pretty well. We had just gotten set up on stage to perform in a high school auditorium, and he walks out to give an introduction:

"Thank you all for coming out today, we've got some good classic american jazz for you on the way, but first we're going to start with the ancient Chinese traditional song,

tu - ning."

struggled to keep my shit together in front of about 150 people. legitimately cracked me up.

The reason is a coo sticks.