When I woke up this morning, I saw a bird of prey sitting in my backyard eating avocado toast.
It was a millennial falcon.
Saw 3 Mexicans in my backyard the other day.
I am always careful in my backyard
Because some trees are nuts.
Caught my kids throwing sticks of butter up in the air in our backyard.
They said they wanted to see butterflies!
Yesterday I saw three Mexicans in my backyard
I had to tell them to go away because they were tres passing
So I caught a frog and a toad having a great time in my backyard just the other day.
They were playing a game of croquet.
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
A guy I don’t know wants to cut down the trees in my backyard
I told him ‘I woodn’t do that if I were you’
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
I was excavating a large hole in my backyard in order to build an underground office. My neighbor wasn't too happy with the noise and wanted to come and see what all the commotion was about.
I told him to just leave me alone. After all, I'm just mining my own business.
My wife was complaining about how our next door neighbor's wife started sunbathing nude in their backyard.
Personally, I'm on the fence.
The poor willow in my backyard just broke one of its main limbs off.
Backyard jokes with my dogs
Whenever I walk out to my backyard pond
My fish first pop out to say hello, but then quickly retreat to cover. Then they'll tease like they're coming out again, but then they'll shy away.
What makes them act so coy!?
My archeologist buddy invited me to a party. Apparently the entertainment was looking for leg bones in his backyard.
A man and his wife had a shed in their backyard. The neighbor asked which of them built it and they both replied that they had built it, leading to a massive argument.
It was a real He-Shed She-Shed situation.
I went camping in my backyard last night, bringing along my tablet to watch Pulp Fiction.
I call it "Tentin' Quarantino".
My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard.
Personally, I’m on the fence.
While eating porkchops in our backyard.
Me: Hey, you want a bone to chew on?
Son: Gnaw bro.
My girlfriend gets triggered when I get up and chase the birds away from our backyard every morning.
She says it’s my crow aggression.
Why there are tents on your backyard?
Kids are doing something intense.
I called my local aviary owner and asked if she had any water birds for my new backyard pond.
She told me she had a bad experience with some water birds and doesn't sell them anymore. I angrily told her that a real aviary owner would sell water birds too.
>!She said she and has no egrets.!<
I was bored so I dug three holes in my backyard.
My wife came home and said "Well, well, well..."
My next door Russian neighbor is very secretive about the honeycombs in his backyard.
He might be a cagey bee agent.
The neighborhood dogs always come up to the tree in my backyard.
I was helping a buddy install his backyard fence, when I realized I screwed up and had to do it again.
I said, “Sorry about the repost.”
My wife got mad at me for kicking the dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator. Then told me I was terrible with directions. And then she added that I should stop cross dressing in her clothes. She also didn't like the female neighbor sun bathing nude in her backyard.
I nearly shit her pants, even though the ice-incident was water under the fridge! I was on the fence about the neighbor sun-bathing nude, but I packed her things and right anyway.
i had no idea that i had a fruit tree in my backyard until the other day.
My backyard herbs are looking good...
You might say they're in mint condition.
I planted some orange trees in my backyard about 15 years ago
It’s amazing how fast my little treenagers have grown!
Was out in the backyard grilling some burgers for my daughter and her friends but they'd lined up a bunch of dolls to get food too
Me: there's some deer in the backyard
Dad: they're outstanding in their field
Did you know that Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard?
A dad Manning the grill at a backyard bbq. Son approaches...
Son: "Dad? Can you make me a burger?"
Dad: "Sure! (waives tongs like a magic wand) POOF! You're a burger!"
(Dad laughing hysterically. Son rolls eyes)
My uncle discovered petroleum in his backyard...
He took an oily retirement
I’m starting a business website for backyard dogs.
It’s called ChainLinkedIn.
There are stray Watsons in my backyard
I think they need good Holmes.
What do you call Irish backyard chairs?
I woke up this morning and saw a bird of prey in my backyard eating avocado toast and yelling “Ok Boomer!”
It was a millennial falcon.
I went to my backyard and saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.
It was a millennial falcon.
My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathers topless in her backyard.
Personally, I'm on the fence.
I went to my backyard this morning, and I saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.
It was a millennial falcon.
My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard
Personally, I'm on the fence
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
I was helping a friend install his backyard fence, but I screwed up and had to do it again.
My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard.
Personally, I’m on the fence.
I was in my backyard when I saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.
It was a millennial falcon.
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