Attacked Puns

Nature abhors a vacuum.

Now, it can ride a bike without stabilisers.

He was charged with a salt.

Police have called SWAT team.

but it's okay since I only took minor damage.

The crime was considered a coffee mug.

He did unspeakable things to me.

He was running around the house yelling "Dyson!"

He didn't know where to turn, before things went south.

THE XBOX IS BEING ATTACKED! Here Comes The Ambulance Wii U Wii U Wii U

The odds were against me.

Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

Edit: Wow! My first Silver and my first Gold! I am honored. What an amazing community. It's a great place to visit after a challenging day.

Luckily, I was only grazed.

it was so big they had to call in the SWAT team

It was a salt and peppery.

It was organized crime.

Easy tiger!

I’m ok, but I’ve been badly grazed.

You'd turn into Ash .

The police think it was a murder

But their grandchildren still listen, in spite of rule 4, because hearing dear old grand-da be excited about his stories is just so sweet, whether he remembers tellin them or not

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Not happy.

He was later charged with battery

They have to yell “Donald, Duck!”

Edit: whoever gave me the gold award, thank you so much. I would repay you in a way, but I don’t know who you are.

because it was a big target

I butterfly away

It was a battery and a salt.

That's gnus to me!

He's okay. He's recovered now.

It was assault and batter, eh?

"Where are the reinforcemints"

How dairy!

He did it on porpoise.

Go for the juggler.

The sheriff decided that he needed to stop them so he rounded up his deputies and they rode out in search of the gang.

After a couple of days everyone was tired and hungry so one of the deputies rode up to sheriff and said “Look sheriff we are all too tired, why don’t you guys rest up here and I’ll ride 4 miles north and two miles east and see if I can’t find us some grub?, I’ll be back by morning”

The sheriff agrees and off the deputy rides 4 miles north and two miles east.

The next morning the deputy returns with all his packs full of bacon! The sheriff says “where the hell did you get all that bacon out here in the middle of nowhere!”

Deputy says “well you see sheriff I rode 4 miles north and 2 miles east and I swear to god there’s this bacon tree just sitting there! A tree that is full of bacon!”

“Bullshit!” Says the sheriff “you stay here I’m going to check this out!”

So off the sheriff rides the same as the deputy did.

The next morning the deputy see’s the sheriff crawling towards the camp with arrows sticking out of his back.

Deputy says to the sheriff “ Boss what the hell happened!”

The sheriff looks up from the ground and says “BACON TREE, BACON TREE, that wasn’t a damn bacon tree you idiot it was a Hambush!”

In self defense, I put a steak through his heart

It was unbearable to watch

Now it can ride a bike without stabilisers.

Dyson, Dyson.

now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

Now they have to yell "Donald Duck!"

Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

Instead they say, “DONALD, Duck!”

Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"