What is a caterpillar's worst enemy?
This was a joke from my first book of jokes I received on my 8th birthday. I felt it was appropriate on my cake day.
Snoopy AKA Snoop dogg AKA the Red Baron has been spotted flying his Dogg house today. It is understood that he defeated his enemies in one fell snoop.
We all know who's the real enemy of capitalism...
Me: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemy's eyes?
Person: Yes, that's assault.
Me: Yes I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?
Did you hear the one about the secret agent that was captured behind enemy lines with a sheepdog as part of his disguise?
When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.
When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.
Did you hear about Putin's arch enemy?
His name was Mr.Takeout (before he killed himself with a mysterious bullet to the back of the head)
What vampire raps about his enemies?
I poisoned my enemies herbs.
Guess it was his thyme to go.
Who is Shia LaBeouf’s mortal enemy?
TIL there was once a nation whose Navy could only attack when the enemy was behind them.
Why do kids these days love the song My Own Worst Enemy?
What do the English yell before peeing on thier enemies?
How did the Samurai defeat the enemy General?
There is a new Sith Lord who prefers to immobilize his enemies instead of killing them.
Did you ever hear about the knight that always had enemies nearby?
Why did the warrior cut off the feet of his enemies?
I ran into my enemy named cactus the other day
What do my enemies and my fish have in common?
What do you call an enemy plant?
What Sith Lord immobilizes his enemies in their old age instead of killing them?
I shot my enemy with a paintball gun
Are you the enemy of my enemy?
There's a video trending about a dyslexic enemy.
Plz halp, I need as many vegetable puns as possible ASAP, the epic vegetable pun battle of the century is now being waged and I am quickly running out of ammo while the enemy shows no signs of retreat
The first rule of world domination is to always capitalize on your enemies mistakes
Did you ever hear the name of the famous knight known to cut off the tips of his enemies penises?
Arch enemies [x-post from r/funny]
What did the mom potato say when she found out her baby potatoes were working for the enemy?
They were losing the battle, until they started chucking the tops of kitchen cupboards at the enemy.
Do you know who are the Klingons natural enemies?
What is Herbie the lovebugs natural enemy?
/u/RaRaRaV1 is his own worst enemy
My sister: Why do cow have a lot of enemies?
I say alcohol is my enemy
What did commander broccoli say to Sargent potato when he discovered that he was leaking information to the enemy?
I saw my enemy in the supermarket, so I threw a bunch of "Thank You" cards at him. It turns out one of the cards hit him so hard that he died in hospital.
I was always told that you should kill them with kindness.
What do you do to prove that you have cut off an enemy's foot it battle
I always try to use jokes to defeat my enemies.
But no matter what jokes I use, they always have the last laugh.
When I found out what the enemy had done to our artillery I was mortified.
What did pirate say to his son when he burned the enemy ship with Greek fire?
How do you call somebody who's waiting for winter to crush their enemy?
In America, drug is the enemy. In Russia, drug is your friend.
Explanation: the Russian word друг (drug, pronounced drook or droog) means male friend.
My arch enemy pointed at my T-shirt which read "Never forget WW2" and said "I bet you're so stupid you don't even know what the second W stands for".
I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"
What is an aging magician's best friend onstage and greatest enemy in the bedroom?
TIL that when the ancient Assyrians captured an enemy, they cut his legs off at the ankles.
They made sure he was defeeted.
What Sith Lord immobilizes his enemies instead of killing them?