What is a caterpillar's worst enemy?

A dogerpillar.

This was a joke from my first book of jokes I received on my 8th birthday. I felt it was appropriate on my cake day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobertJSh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Snoopy AKA Snoop dogg AKA the Red Baron has been spotted flying his Dogg house today. It is understood that he defeated his enemies in one fell snoop.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Badwolfgyt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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We all know who's the real enemy of capitalism...

the lowercases ._.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Me: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemy's eyes?

Person: Yes, that's assault.

Me: Yes I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abhish3kjain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Did you hear the one about the secret agent that was captured behind enemy lines with a sheepdog as part of his disguise?

When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.

When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Did you hear about Putin's arch enemy?

His name was Mr.Takeout (before he killed himself with a mysterious bullet to the back of the head)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vagabondsadhu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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What vampire raps about his enemies?

Diss Trackula

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanbrother
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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I poisoned my enemies herbs.

Guess it was his thyme to go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dankpenguin69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Who is Shia LaBeouf’s mortal enemy?

Sunni LaBeouf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaddleD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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TIL there was once a nation whose Navy could only attack when the enemy was behind them.

It was Aftcannonstan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/7stringGriffle
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Why do kids these days love the song My Own Worst Enemy?

It’s Lit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spenpenn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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What do the English yell before peeing on thier enemies?

Urine trouble!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danspud69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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Arch Enemies.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swatmax1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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How did the Samurai defeat the enemy General?

He hit him with "Ja-Pan"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trainsylvania
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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There is a new Sith Lord who prefers to immobilize his enemies instead of killing them.

Darth Ritis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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Did you ever hear about the knight that always had enemies nearby?

He was Ser Rounded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HairyStylist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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Why did the warrior cut off the feet of his enemies?

They were defeated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aureperi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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I ran into my enemy named cactus the other day

What a prick

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lZombieChaserl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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What do my enemies and my fish have in common?

I like them battered.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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What do you call an enemy plant?

Foeliage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zspratt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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What Sith Lord immobilizes his enemies in their old age instead of killing them?

Darth Ritis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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I shot my enemy with a paintball gun

I wanted to see them dye

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mangojuiceloverr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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Are you the enemy of my enemy?

Asking for a friend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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There's a video trending about a dyslexic enemy.

It's going rival.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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Plz halp, I need as many vegetable puns as possible ASAP, the epic vegetable pun battle of the century is now being waged and I am quickly running out of ammo while the enemy shows no signs of retreat
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoofyGoober1999
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
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The first rule of world domination is to always capitalize on your enemies mistakes

ON YOUR ENEMIES MISTAKES

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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Did you ever hear the name of the famous knight known to cut off the tips of his enemies penises?

Sir Cumcision

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PumpkinnKinng
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Arch enemies [x-post from r/funny]
πŸ‘︎ 765
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
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What did the mom potato say when she found out her baby potatoes were working for the enemy?

Traitor tots!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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They were losing the battle, until they started chucking the tops of kitchen cupboards at the enemy.

It was a counter attack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peteman22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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Do you know who are the Klingons natural enemies?

The Teflons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joakkov
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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What is Herbie the lovebugs natural enemy?

Herbivore...

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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/u/RaRaRaV1 is his own worst enemy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turtlebait2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
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My sister: Why do cow have a lot of enemies?

They always start beef

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zax317
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
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I say alcohol is my enemy

God says love your enemy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PurabR
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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What did commander broccoli say to Sargent potato when he discovered that he was leaking information to the enemy?

You TAITOR!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yup_Pup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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I saw my enemy in the supermarket, so I threw a bunch of "Thank You" cards at him. It turns out one of the cards hit him so hard that he died in hospital.

I was always told that you should kill them with kindness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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What do you do to prove that you have cut off an enemy's foot it battle

Take a foe-toe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deepBlueCheese
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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I always try to use jokes to defeat my enemies.

But no matter what jokes I use, they always have the last laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DisgracedAbyss
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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When I found out what the enemy had done to our artillery I was mortified.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jlw2001
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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What did pirate say to his son when he burned the enemy ship with Greek fire?

Arrrrrr, son

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OJT6627
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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How do you call somebody who's waiting for winter to crush their enemy?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AutisticSombrero
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
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In America, drug is the enemy. In Russia, drug is your friend.

Explanation: the Russian word Π΄Ρ€ΡƒΠ³ (drug, pronounced drook or droog) means male friend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NerdWampa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
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My arch enemy pointed at my T-shirt which read "Never forget WW2" and said "I bet you're so stupid you don't even know what the second W stands for".

I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbitel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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What is an aging magician's best friend onstage and greatest enemy in the bedroom?

Misdirection

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evilmd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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TIL that when the ancient Assyrians captured an enemy, they cut his legs off at the ankles.

They made sure he was defeeted.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitokirizac
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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What Sith Lord immobilizes his enemies instead of killing them?

Darth Ritis.

πŸ‘︎ 208
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report

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