If your dog shakes hands with your enemy, has he committed a foe paw?
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm making a videogame where the enemies are soda cans!

I haven't started drawing the sprites yet.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What is a caterpillar's worst enemy?

A dogerpillar.

This was a joke from my first book of jokes I received on my 8th birthday. I felt it was appropriate on my cake day.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobertJSh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Snoopy AKA Snoop dogg AKA the Red Baron has been spotted flying his Dogg house today. It is understood that he defeated his enemies in one fell snoop.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Badwolfgyt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
We all know who's the real enemy of capitalism...

the lowercases ._.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemy's eyes?

Person: Yes, that's assault.

Me: Yes I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abhish3kjain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the secret agent that was captured behind enemy lines with a sheepdog as part of his disguise?

When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.

When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What vampire raps about his enemies?

Diss Trackula

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanbrother
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Putin's arch enemy?

His name was Mr.Takeout (before he killed himself with a mysterious bullet to the back of the head)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vagabondsadhu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I poisoned my enemies herbs.

Guess it was his thyme to go.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dankpenguin69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Who is Shia LaBeouf’s mortal enemy?

Sunni LaBeouf

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WaddleD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL there was once a nation whose Navy could only attack when the enemy was behind them.

It was Aftcannonstan.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/7stringGriffle
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do the English yell before peeing on thier enemies?

Urine trouble!!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danspud69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Arch Enemies.
πŸ‘︎ 168
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/swatmax1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do kids these days love the song My Own Worst Enemy?

It’s Lit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spenpenn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the Samurai defeat the enemy General?

He hit him with "Ja-Pan"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trainsylvania
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
There is a new Sith Lord who prefers to immobilize his enemies instead of killing them.

Darth Ritis.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you ever hear about the knight that always had enemies nearby?

He was Ser Rounded

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HairyStylist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the warrior cut off the feet of his enemies?

They were defeated.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aureperi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I ran into my enemy named cactus the other day

What a prick

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lZombieChaserl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do my enemies and my fish have in common?

I like them battered.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an enemy plant?

Foeliage.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zspratt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I shot my enemy with a paintball gun

I wanted to see them dye

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mangojuiceloverr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Are you the enemy of my enemy?

Asking for a friend.

πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Plz halp, I need as many vegetable puns as possible ASAP, the epic vegetable pun battle of the century is now being waged and I am quickly running out of ammo while the enemy shows no signs of retreat
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoofyGoober1999
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a video trending about a dyslexic enemy.

It's going rival.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The first rule of world domination is to always capitalize on your enemies mistakes

ON YOUR ENEMIES MISTAKES

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Arch enemies [x-post from r/funny]
πŸ‘︎ 769
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you ever hear the name of the famous knight known to cut off the tips of his enemies penises?

Sir Cumcision

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PumpkinnKinng
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know who are the Klingons natural enemies?

The Teflons.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joakkov
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
They were losing the battle, until they started chucking the tops of kitchen cupboards at the enemy.

It was a counter attack.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Peteman22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the mom potato say when she found out her baby potatoes were working for the enemy?

Traitor tots!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
/u/RaRaRaV1 is his own worst enemy
πŸ‘︎ 407
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/turtlebait2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
🚨︎ report
What is Herbie the lovebugs natural enemy?

Herbivore...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister: Why do cow have a lot of enemies?

They always start beef

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zax317
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I say alcohol is my enemy

God says love your enemy

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PurabR
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What did commander broccoli say to Sargent potato when he discovered that he was leaking information to the enemy?

You TAITOR!!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yup_Pup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw my enemy in the supermarket, so I threw a bunch of "Thank You" cards at him. It turns out one of the cards hit him so hard that he died in hospital.

I was always told that you should kill them with kindness.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do to prove that you have cut off an enemy's foot it battle

Take a foe-toe

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deepBlueCheese
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I always try to use jokes to defeat my enemies.

But no matter what jokes I use, they always have the last laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DisgracedAbyss
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
🚨︎ report
When I found out what the enemy had done to our artillery I was mortified.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jlw2001
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
🚨︎ report
How do you call somebody who's waiting for winter to crush their enemy?
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AutisticSombrero
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
🚨︎ report
In America, drug is the enemy. In Russia, drug is your friend.

Explanation: the Russian word Π΄Ρ€ΡƒΠ³ (drug, pronounced drook or droog) means male friend.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NerdWampa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
My arch enemy pointed at my T-shirt which read "Never forget WW2" and said "I bet you're so stupid you don't even know what the second W stands for".

I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jbitel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What Sith Lord immobilizes his enemies in their old age instead of killing them?

Darth Ritis.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What Sith Lord immobilizes his enemies instead of killing them?

Darth Ritis.

πŸ‘︎ 209
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.