If your dog shakes hands with your enemy, has he committed a foe paw?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
I'm making a videogame where the enemies are soda cans!
I haven't started drawing the sprites yet.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
What is a caterpillar's worst enemy?
A dogerpillar.
This was a joke from my first book of jokes I received on my 8th birthday. I felt it was appropriate on my cake day.
π︎ 56
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Snoopy AKA Snoop dogg AKA the Red Baron has been spotted flying his Dogg house today. It is understood that he defeated his enemies in one fell snoop.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
We all know who's the real enemy of capitalism...
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
Me: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemy's eyes?
Person: Yes, that's assault.
Me: Yes I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?
π︎ 73
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
Did you hear the one about the secret agent that was captured behind enemy lines with a sheepdog as part of his disguise?
When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.
When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.
π︎ 89
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
What vampire raps about his enemies?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jul 13 2020
Did you hear about Putin's arch enemy?
His name was Mr.Takeout (before he killed himself with a mysterious bullet to the back of the head)
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
I poisoned my enemies herbs.
Guess it was his thyme to go.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
Who is Shia LaBeoufβs mortal enemy?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 24 2020
TIL there was once a nation whose Navy could only attack when the enemy was behind them.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 04 2020
What do the English yell before peeing on thier enemies?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 26 2020
Arch Enemies.
π︎ 168
π
︎ Sep 04 2019
Why do kids these days love the song My Own Worst Enemy?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
How did the Samurai defeat the enemy General?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 07 2020
There is a new Sith Lord who prefers to immobilize his enemies instead of killing them.
π︎ 95
π
︎ Dec 01 2019
Did you ever hear about the knight that always had enemies nearby?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 20 2019
Why did the warrior cut off the feet of his enemies?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Sep 01 2019
I ran into my enemy named cactus the other day
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 09 2020
What do my enemies and my fish have in common?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 14 2019
What do you call an enemy plant?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 29 2019
I shot my enemy with a paintball gun
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 02 2019
Are you the enemy of my enemy?
π︎ 111
π
︎ Mar 03 2019
Plz halp, I need as many vegetable puns as possible ASAP, the epic vegetable pun battle of the century is now being waged and I am quickly running out of ammo while the enemy shows no signs of retreat
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 22 2018
There's a video trending about a dyslexic enemy.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jul 30 2019
The first rule of world domination is to always capitalize on your enemies mistakes
π︎ 71
π
︎ Aug 26 2018
Arch enemies [x-post from r/funny]
π︎ 769
π
︎ Apr 13 2017
Did you ever hear the name of the famous knight known to cut off the tips of his enemies penises?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 12 2019
Do you know who are the Klingons natural enemies?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 14 2018
They were losing the battle, until they started chucking the tops of kitchen cupboards at the enemy.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 16 2019
What did the mom potato say when she found out her baby potatoes were working for the enemy?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 07 2019
/u/RaRaRaV1 is his own worst enemy
π︎ 407
π
︎ Jul 06 2017
What is Herbie the lovebugs natural enemy?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 16 2019
My sister: Why do cow have a lot of enemies?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Aug 04 2018
I say alcohol is my enemy
π︎ 19
π
︎ Sep 22 2018
What did commander broccoli say to Sargent potato when he discovered that he was leaking information to the enemy?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 09 2018
I saw my enemy in the supermarket, so I threw a bunch of "Thank You" cards at him. It turns out one of the cards hit him so hard that he died in hospital.
I was always told that you should kill them with kindness.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 15 2019
What do you do to prove that you have cut off an enemy's foot it battle
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 20 2018
I always try to use jokes to defeat my enemies.
But no matter what jokes I use, they always have the last laugh.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Mar 29 2018
When I found out what the enemy had done to our artillery I was mortified.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 20 2016
How do you call somebody who's waiting for winter to crush their enemy?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Sep 27 2017
In America, drug is the enemy. In Russia, drug is your friend.
Explanation: the Russian word Π΄ΡΡΠ³ (drug, pronounced drook or droog) means male friend.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 18 2018
My arch enemy pointed at my T-shirt which read "Never forget WW2" and said "I bet you're so stupid you don't even know what the second W stands for".
I stared dead at them, pointed, and said "This means War!"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 21 2018
What Sith Lord immobilizes his enemies in their old age instead of killing them?
π︎ 41
π
︎ Jun 30 2019
What Sith Lord immobilizes his enemies instead of killing them?
π︎ 209
π
︎ Mar 31 2019
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