Attacked!! Puns

He was a seasoned veteran!

I said it couldn't have been my dog, he doesn't own a bike

Now, it can ride a bike without stabilisers.

The wolves may be predators but he pray

Nature abhors a vacuum.

They did unspeakable things!

Police have called SWAT team.

He kept moaning "GRRAIIIIIIIIINNNNS."

He was charged with a salt.

The odds were against me.

The crime was considered a coffee mug.

but it's okay since I only took minor damage.

He didn't know where to turn, before things went south.

Dyson, Dyson.

THE XBOX IS BEING ATTACKED! Here Comes The Ambulance Wii U Wii U Wii U

now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

Luckily, I was only grazed.

It was a salt and peppery.

it was so big they had to call in the SWAT team

It was organized crime.

I’m ok, but I’ve been badly grazed.

Easy tiger!

The police think it was a murder

You'd turn into Ash .

Not happy.

"Where are the reinforcemints"

They have to yell “Donald, Duck!”

Edit: whoever gave me the gold award, thank you so much. I would repay you in a way, but I don’t know who you are.

He was later charged with battery

But their grandchildren still listen, in spite of rule 4, because hearing dear old grand-da be excited about his stories is just so sweet, whether he remembers tellin them or not

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It was a battery and a salt.

because it was a big target

It was assault and batter, eh?

I butterfly away

He's okay. He's recovered now.

That's gnus to me!

Go for the juggler.

How dairy!

The sheriff decided that he needed to stop them so he rounded up his deputies and they rode out in search of the gang.

After a couple of days everyone was tired and hungry so one of the deputies rode up to sheriff and said “Look sheriff we are all too tired, why don’t you guys rest up here and I’ll ride 4 miles north and two miles east and see if I can’t find us some grub?, I’ll be back by morning”

The sheriff agrees and off the deputy rides 4 miles north and two miles east.

The next morning the deputy returns with all his packs full of bacon! The sheriff says “where the hell did you get all that bacon out here in the middle of nowhere!”

Deputy says “well you see sheriff I rode 4 miles north and 2 miles east and I swear to god there’s this bacon tree just sitting there! A tree that is full of bacon!”

“Bullshit!” Says the sheriff “you stay here I’m going to check this out!”

So off the sheriff rides the same as the deputy did.

The next morning the deputy see’s the sheriff crawling towards the camp with arrows sticking out of his back.

Deputy says to the sheriff “ Boss what the hell happened!”

The sheriff looks up from the ground and says “BACON TREE, BACON TREE, that wasn’t a damn bacon tree you idiot it was a Hambush!”

He did it on porpoise.

They did unspeakable things

Now it can ride a bike without stabilisers.

He did unspeakable things to me.

Now they have to yell "Donald Duck!"

Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

Instead they say, “DONALD, Duck!”