My terrorists girlfriend said she hadn't ever attempted a suicide bombing

But today I found out jihad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamSamG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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How did the cockroaches react to nuclear bombings

They had a blast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neon_Unstable
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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I was involved in a bombing a few years ago.

Such a blast from the past

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmbhatt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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Where Did Sally Go During The Bombing?

Everywhere.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Audri-Leigh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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How does the Italian mafia carry out a suicide bombing?

They rig a Tony...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brickbaterang
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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A bombing happened in a clothes store.

There were many casual tees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nm3sis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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Bomb Pun megathread!

Post all bomb puns here, whether they be good or bad.

Edit: Wow. This blew up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heraldoftheplague
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Help ! I am running out of bomb puns ! Details inside.

So, me and my group of friends recently started a gag going on one of our friends. She rolls with it, so it's okay.

So we just mess around with puns like "You're the bomb", "You've got an explosive personality", any bomb or explosion reference/pun we can make when talking with her or about her basically.

However, we are running out of puns.

Anyone got suggestions ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BarbasPT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2016
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Terrorists have planted bombs in cans of alphabetti spaghetti.

If they go off it could spell disaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geofferz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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How do you disarm a bomb made out of cheese?

Caerphilly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the color bomb?

Yeah it blue up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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The inventor of the bomb was so amazed by his invention...

It blew him away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Someone put a bomb in my mailbox.

Holy shit this post blew up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnchartedQuasar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I got to drop this bomb yesterday at Thanksgiving

Grandma: So what did you do to your turkey? Was it mexican? My Mom: No we tried a cajun sauce this time Grandma: What makes it Cajun? Me: It’s Thanksgiving so its a special oh-cajun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waltregus12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Bought a Raspberry Bomb pudding for Xmas. Close to sell by date.

Better eat it before it goes off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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The bomb didn't want to go off.

So it refused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?

EDIT: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altus-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Did you hear about the fashionable restaurant called β€˜H-Bomb?’

It’s known for fusion cuisine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced…

"BOOM?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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I made a joke about a bomb on this sub once

It really blew up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jkwon6227
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Singer_Spectre
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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I was walking past a shop, and there was a classic bomb in the window Beside it was a sign that read "$1, irreplaceable fuse"

I said to myself "That's an offer I can't refuse"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Secretseacrits549
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you get if you eat a bomb?

atomic ache

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Goldygold2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
French bombe

Did you hear about the French castle made of cheese that exploded?

There was de-brie everywhere....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbylake71
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
If I see another gender reveal bomb meme...

Boy, I’m gonna blow up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swim_and_drive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
So I told this joke about bombs to my friends

But it got diffused

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marshmello100
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
You hear about the new bomb made out of horses?

It’s called neigh-palm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Haha tweets go bomb...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satwik_Pandey
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't stand bomb diffusing movie scenes

It always comes down to the wire.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the cobra comedian when it bombed on stage?

It got hissed off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foamy07
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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My kid couldn't figure out how to pronounce abominable so I drew a guide
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BarkDocklate
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
If i’m scared to go on a flight, i always bring a bomb.

Because what’s the chance of being 2 bombs on 1 flight?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MathiasMathias
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a T-Rex with a bomb strapped to it's chest?

Dinomite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the explosive a miner uses?

The bomb-diggity

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ft_a_ladder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
It’s a shame nothing is made in the USA anymore.

I just bought a TV that said β€œBuilt in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JennyBagaDonuts
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I’m the kind of guy that would yell β€œLanguage” whenever anyone curses. My friend yelled out the F-bomb. I said β€œLanguage.” She then flipped me off.

SIGN LANGUAGE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RolandoDR98
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Batman: β€œAlfred, please fill up the bathtub”

Alfred: β€œSir? What’s a htub ”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterPrize
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Tried telling my sister a terrorist joke

Sadly it bombed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Killerzaz202
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A scientist created a miniature bomb

When it was done, he didnt know how to activate it, so he put it under a microscope

Blew up in his face

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Today my maths teacher showed us a bomb

then he blew the lesson way out of proportion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the best kinda bath bomb

A toaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/faraaah02
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Reddit user say after detonating a bomb in a bank?

Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Edit: Credit to r/Teenagers for this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ustydud
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What would a Reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?

EDIT : Wow this blew up! Thanks for the gold

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kou_hou
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb inside Fort Knox?

Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
If β€œwomb is pronounced β€œwoom”, β€œtomb” is pronounced β€œtoom”, then then shouldn’t β€œbomb” be pronounced

β€œBOOM”

I hope that blew your minds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zombiemonkey04
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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