Are pun requests allowed?
I'm trying to find a good pun for pine or pine tree that is wedding/marriage themed.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Looking for Chicken Names that are puns of Serial Killers
We are finally getting chickens! We are also obsessed with puns and serial killers. Can anyone of the much brighter minds than mine think of any good chicken related/true crime puns?
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︎ Jun 11 2020
Why are puns the only joke medium that are measured in how good they are by how volitole the reaction is?
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︎ Aug 02 2019
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︎ Oct 26 2013
Calendar Days That Are Puns!
Days That Are Puns
1/23 - January 23rd reads like 123
3/10 - Mar10 Day - Nintendo's Mario Day
3/11 - There's an awesome band called 311
3/14 - 3.14 is the first few digits of Pi AKA Pi Day
5/4 - May the 4th be with you - A pun on "May the force be with you." AKA Star Wars Day
7/11 - Free Slurpee Day at 7 Eleven stores
9/11 - No intention of being offensive with this one. 9/11 reads like the emergency phone number used in the United States
10/4 - Pun for 10-4, which is similar to saying "roger that"
10/23 - National Mole Day (Avogrado's number) 6.02 x 10^23
Please mention any I missed!
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︎ May 21 2017
Money Puns are Pun-ey
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︎ Jul 08 2018
Now these are puns at full volume.
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︎ Sep 18 2017
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︎ Mar 14 2016
Momma always told me "you are what you eat!" So I started eating mushrooms every day.
I wanted to become a fun guy.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Why are all archeologists depressed?
Because their lives are in ruins
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︎ Dec 30 2020
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
I told my daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She said, "What's that got to do with anything?"
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
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︎ Jan 11 2021
What are you in for?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Son: "Dad, what are condoms used for ?"
Dad: "To avoid such questions."
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Are they allowed to LOL?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
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︎ Jan 10 2021
My friend asked me if Princess Bride jokes are still a thing
I said, βtheyβre mostly deadβ
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Who'll are from Indonesia?
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︎ Oct 14 2020
My son asked me, βDad, what are condoms used for?β
I said, βUsually to avoid answering questions like this one.β
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Did you know that two times ten and two times eleven are actually the same?
two times ten is twenty and two times eleven is twenty too
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︎ Dec 30 2020
How many seconds are there in a year.
12 second
Edit1: Since so many of you guys are confused, it's like January second, February second and so on.
Edit2: No 22nd doesn't count.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from the sky
The husband says, itβs reindeer
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Why are lgbt people good at fashion?
They usually spend a long time in the closet.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Iβve never understood why baby dogs are called puppies...
When they could be called subwoofers
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?
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︎ Oct 19 2020
They are definitely KINDER
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︎ Sep 29 2020
TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
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︎ Sep 24 2020
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
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︎ Jan 09 2021
What are you called if you are shopping at an Apple store when itβs robbed?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
What are your resolution going to be for the new year?
Still on 1080p? or upgraded to 4k already?
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︎ Dec 31 2020
They say there are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
I think that's Booleshit.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
What are a kidnappers favourite type of shoes?
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Roses are Red, Violets Are Red...
...I set your garden on fire.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
My boss said, βI find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.β
I said, βIt must be my weekend immune system.β
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︎ Sep 28 2020
I visited a monastery the other day and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar?"
He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Hey girl!! Are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you everyday.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
They are
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Russian cars are very unreliable...
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︎ Dec 23 2020
So, Iβve been hearing people talk about probiotics and how good they are for you. I donβt buy into it.
I guess you could say that Iβm anti-biotic.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
What are the unspoken rules of sign language?
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Orcas are love spouting and accepting homosexuwhales
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︎ Dec 21 2020
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
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︎ Aug 18 2020
I heard Ian McKellan, Ian McDiarmid, and Ian Holm are teaming up to defend the Milky Way.
Theyβre calling themselves the Guard-Ians of the Galaxy.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
My wife and I were woken up at 3am by loud banging on our door. I got up, opened the door and there was a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push. "Are you insane man?!!? It's 3 in the morning!!" I screamed, slamming the door and stormed back to bed...
"Who was that?" asked my wife.
"Just some drunk asking for a push." I grumbled.
"Did you help him?" she asked.
"No, I did NOT! It's 3am and it's pouring rain!"
"Well, you've a short memory." she said. "Don't you remember three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! Now get out there and help him!"
She had a point, and angrily, I got dressed and went out into the darkness, calling out, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes."
"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes please."
"Where are you?"
"Over here...on the swing."
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same
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︎ Jan 04 2021
I said to my daughter "The cows are out sleeping in the field." She said "What's that got to do with anything? "
I said "It's pasture bedtime."
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︎ Jan 02 2021
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