Boss said he’d fire me if I made any more country puns
It was the end of my Korea
I need help following up with this pun, this is a video about a scientist giving a lecture about fire, I can’t think of any more other than pun-ch line
From today I do not drink any more.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.”
I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?
Do you know what's not funny any more?
What do you call someone who doesn't like tractors any more?
No internet needed any more
I can't take my dog to the pond any more, the ducks keep attacking him.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
What do you call it when it takes more than 24 hours to see any election results?
Me: I love going to art school! My wife: you can’t go any more!
Me : but that’s where I draw the line
Can this pun be any more on ‘point’
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state.
I guess you could say it's a Prez dispenser.
Why doesn't any man need more than one rooster?
If I make any more jokes about spreadsheets...
...I'll be locked in a cell
There’s a reason I don’t speak with the Taliban any more.
I went to the doctor, and he said I was overweight. I'm not allowed to wear white T-shirts any more.
He told me I have to dye it.
People are wondering whether I have any more of these bracelets - I’m a frayed knot
I've eaten so many dates lately that I can't stand them any more.
I guess you can say I'm outdated.
I'm much more pleased with myself than I have any right to be
My daughter is 14 and dating. Her boyfriend’s name is Braden, I think..so I just use any B name that comes to mind to annoy her. Braden, Brody, Bradley, Brandon, Bruce, Bryce, etc. Looking for more suggestions! I also talk gangster to her all the time to get her going. Being a ‘Dad Joke’ Dad is fun!
I used to do these a lot when I was younger? Do you guys know any more so I can share with my kids?
http://i.imgur.com/1XdScio.png
What do you call a person who isn't sure if there's any more eggs in the fridge?
I didn't want any more children so I went and got my vasectomy...
Came home later and they were still here...
I told President Trump I wouldn't feed him any more beans.
Because he's always Putin.
You know in Canada you don't have to fully spell out "we had" any more
Because they recently made "we'd" legal
Why don't aliens visit earth any more?
It got terrible ratings. Only one star.
Why couldn't the dog move any more?
Because she was stuck on paws!
I don't talk to the tandem skydiving instructor any more...
because we recently had a falling out
there is a serious lack of possible bear puns, can any of you think of more?
The problem with bears as a pun topic is that there are only 6 possible puns and most of them are stretches.
-
bear double meaning with tolerate
-
pandanother thing
-
grizzly double meaning with horrific
4)kodiak double meaning with camera
5)koalalifications
6)and Ursidae the family classification can be shortened to sound like ursa and be used instead of "or so" like in the phrase "or so i was told".
“Can I have any more Mom?” “No, you already have the maximom.”
My wife was complaining that I never listen to her any more...
I said "no thank's I've just had one".
I noticed there aren't many granddad jokes around here any more
Did those get old too fast?
You guys got any more jokes like henway and updog?
Told like this:
Dad: Oh my god, there's a henway on your back!
Son: What's a henway?
D: About 5 pounds
D: Man, it smells like updog in here.
S: What's updog?
D: Not much, what's up with you?
My 6 year old brother has quit falling for these and I need some new ones in my arsenal. Help please.
So today my wife asked me if I wanted any more children...
My reply: "No chance! I kid you not!"
As if I needed any more justification that my wife is a keeper.
Me: "I have a cut on my forehead and I don't know why."
Wife: "Probably because you cut it."
Do we have any more bubbly?
Me: I think we have some pear cider leftover from last night.
Dad: You wouldn't want that, it'd make you impeared.
Why doesn't any man need more than one rooster?
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