What do you call the man who lives without technology and got amputated to the elbows?
A guy wakes up from surgery. "How'd it go, Doc?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that we amputated the wrong leg...
The good news is that your other leg is all better."
After my uncle had his arm amputated, he named his nub “Saturday.”
He said it was his weak end.
My friend had both his legs amputated and I get ill when I go near him.
I think that I might be lacktoes intolerant.
I just saw a kid in the hospital that got his left arm amputated
“Is he ok?”
“He’s all right.”
My friend amputated his liver. Now he is just O
I had to have part of my butt amputated.
Now it's just a semicolon.
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus...
I avoid people who have had their feet amputated.
My buddy is getting his left arm amputated tomorrow. Don't worry, he'll be all right.
I almost couldn't live with myself after the first half of both of my feet were amputated...
Yesterday I had my right leg amputated
My other leg is all I have left.
Dud you hear about the midget who had to have a leg amputated?
He was three feet tall, and one foot short!
It was a sad day...my girlfriend had her foot amputated, so I had to break up with her.
I'm lack toes intolerant...
Bob got into a horrible accident and had to have his legs amputated below the ankles.
The suffered the agony of de-feet.
I recently went to a fundraiser to buy prosthetics for people with amputated fingers.
It was the third annual Thumb Drive.
Did you hear about the guy that had to have his entire left side amputated?
My Grandpa got his leg amputated
My dad told me he’s a foot shorter.
I can’t bring my new girlfriend home to my parents because she has had her feet amputated.
They are lack-toes intolerant
A man was in a bad car accident and had to have his left arm and left leg amputated...
But don't worry, he's allright now.
I had some bumps on my arm and was going to get it amputated.
The doctor thought it was a little rash.
I heard Tracy Morgan may need to get his leg amputated.
Looks like his standup career is over.
My boss told me that his father has to return to the hospital to have his big toe amputated…
I asked my boss how his father is getting back to the hospital, and if he needs me to call a tow truck.
What did the comedian with a leg amputated at the pelvis tell to the audience?
Did you hear about the guy who had the wrong leg amputated at the hospital?
They went back and amputated the other leg. He wanted to sue but they told him he didn't have a leg to stand on.
My dad got so mad when the cow crushed his foot and it had to be amputated...
He's so lactoes intolerant.
Yesterday I had my right leg amputated
My other leg is all I have left.
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