Did you hear about the guy whose whole left half was cut off?
Why did the diabetic dad cut off his son's leg?
Because he needed a kid-knee transplant.
Last night I dreamt I was in a swordfight with a knight, and he cut off the bottom part of my legs.
Did you hear about the man who got his left part cut off?
Don´t worry, he´s alright now
A friend of mine cut his finger off at work...
I suppose he'll be getting severance pay.
Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".
She said "I don't understand.....".
I said " UN-PAUSE".
I had to explain it to her...
What happened to the guy whose left side was cut off?
I accidentally cut off most of my foot
My friend and I were dolphin-back racing when he cut me off.
A lumberjack was about to cut off a tree when it suddenly said "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack then said: "And you will dialogue."
My daughter asked if she could cut the hair off of one of her barbies to make a boy barbie.
I said "You Ken if you want to."
This jerk in an expensive vehicle cut me off and expected me to get out of his way.
Ambulances, I can't stand them.
I accidentally cut off my right hand today
What happens if you cut both your feet off?
You get two feet shorter.
Some asshole cut off both my arms and a leg a while ago. But it's ok...
...I don't hold crutches.
The doctor cut off both my right hand and my right leg
So with no rights im practically a woman
Just became an American so I cut off all my sleeves
Since I now have the right to bare arms
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off
I think they're stalking me
A friend of mine had a surgery to cut off his left side
While being tortured I was asked if I'd prefer to have either my arms or legs cut off.
A woman tripped and fell off the balcony and had been cut in half. Still conscious, she was quickly rushed to the hospital...
Manager: what did the doctor say to the woman’s family?
Me: after thinking ...yea I’m not sure
Manager: “she was ALL RIGHT.”
Me: oh, I thought you were going to say “There’s nothing LEFT.”
The manager at work got a kick out of that because that was an answer he has never gotten before lol figured I’d post it here.
A princess wants to choose her future husband. Her engineers create a maze full of deadly traps. After the struggle, four princes survive. The first three have both their hands cut off. The fourth one still has one hand left. Which one will she choose?
She will chose the fourth prince: he's the most hand-some.
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
Why did the warrior cut off the feet of his enemies?
When the barber asks me if I would like more cut off
If you cut off your left hand, your right hand will be left.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left half was cut off?
did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off?
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
Did you hear about the guy who’s left side was cut off?
hey did you hear about the guy who cut off the left half of his body??
Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off?
Oh, he’s all right now...
Did you hear about the guy that got his left side cut off?
It's ok, he's all right now.
Got the left side of my body cut off.
Did you hear about the guy that got his left side cut off?
It's ok, he's all right now.
Hey did you here about the guy who got his left hand cut off?
Yeah I hear he's all Right.
My friend had his whole left side cut off in an accident
I accidentally cut off my left hand today
But on the other hand, I feel all right
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
A friend of mine cut his finger off at work...
So he'll be getting sever ance pay.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
If you cut off your left arm then your right arm will be left.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
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