I called my wife and asked her if she wanted me to pick up fish and chips on my way home.
She just grunted. I think she regrets letting me name the twins.
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︎ May 05 2021
As a kid I could walk into a store with a dollar and come out with 2 candy bars and a bag of chips
And now they have cameras.
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︎ May 23 2021
Someone just told me I reminded them of a packet of flavourless chips.
I've never been so unsalted in my life.
π︎ 11
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︎ Jun 02 2021
Why were the chips so upset?
They kepta geting assaulted.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 20 2021
Went to a fish and chip shop shop that served the food on old atlas pages instead of newspaper.
A bit odd but it really put that plaice on the map.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 17 2021
Outdad my dad with this one. He messaged me today that our dog ate a packet of corn chips. I replied..
...Soon we are going to have poop corn.
And added that we might have a cereal killer living in our house.
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︎ Apr 26 2021
Got a job at a potato chip factory. On top of salary they said I could pick any flavor chip off the shelf once a month.
They prided themselves in their stock options.
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 04 2021
Correct me if Iβm wrong, but due to the ongoing pandemic, would it be smart to stay at least 6ft away from the chips and dip when visiting a Mexican restaurant?
You know, Salsa Distancing.
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 24 2021
What do you call a monk that loves chips?
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︎ Feb 10 2021
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm...
Man: Do you do fishcakes?
Fishmonger: no, I'm afraid not, sorry.
Man: Ah, that's a shame - it's his birthday today
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︎ Mar 12 2021
I visited a monastery the other day and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar?"
He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Chip
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 01 2021
Get it? Cuz Pringles are chips?
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 31 2021
What did the corn chips say to the thief?
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 04 2021
What sound does a tortilla chip make when sneezing?
π︎ 19
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︎ Feb 07 2021
A monastery in Las Vegas kept getting chips in their donation box
It got so frustrating they decided to hire a chipmunk
π︎ 9
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︎ Feb 11 2021
I heard the government was putting chips inside of people.
Well mine better be sour cream and onion
π︎ 14
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︎ Feb 03 2021
I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips...
'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.
'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.
Edit : Holy crap ! More than 1K updoots for a silly joke ? Thanks guys ! I am not sure whether to be proud or ashamed of myself.
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︎ Jul 21 2020
I need a pun about chips for a Christmas gift
So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist.
My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking.
I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.
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︎ Dec 22 2020
I was hungry so I ate all my chips.
Everyone else at the poker game was not impressed.
π︎ 17
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︎ Jan 23 2021
I got my chips before I put my money into the vending machine
I guess it's out of order.
π︎ 20
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︎ Dec 30 2020
I just baked some fresh chocolate chip cookies
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 19 2020
What do you call chips that you can catch?
π︎ 11
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︎ Dec 20 2020
chips
π︎ 167
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︎ Aug 06 2020
What's a dog's favorite kind of potato chip?
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Did you hear about the fight at the fish and chip shop?
Five fish got battered and a bunch of chips were a-salted.
π︎ 108
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︎ Aug 23 2020
Of course, french fries are far too posh for us, we only do chips!
π︎ 23
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︎ Sep 28 2020
My grandsonβs dad joke ( very proud grandfather) What kind of chips do you get at the airport?
π︎ 38
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Last night my wife says "Honey will you go get us some tortilla chips and cheese?"
I looked deep into her eyes and said
"I'm nacho delivery service. "
π︎ 14
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︎ Nov 11 2020
What brand of chips is slower than Internet Explorer?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 20 2020
The other day I was on the dock talking to two of my neighborsβ¦ One of them had a cooler full of beers and snacksβ¦ Pulling out a beer pops the top and opening a bag of chips, he says βMy wifeβs an angel
I said, βyouβre lucky β mine is still aliveβ¦β
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 21 2020
What do ducks love with their tortilla chips?
π︎ 36
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︎ Sep 13 2020
I hear the givernment is putting chips in people.
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 07 2020
In Vegas, people can tithe by dropping casino chips in the offertory.
At the end of the weekend there is a Brother that goes around to all the casinos to cash them out and make a deposit.
Heβs the Chip Monk.
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Every morning when I am done getting my 2 year old ready for school I call her a Canadian potato chip.
Because sheβs all dressed.
π︎ 12
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︎ Sep 29 2020
I thought I dipped my tortilla chip into a bowl of cheese sauce, but it turned out to be honey mustard.
It was a queso mistaken identity.
π︎ 49
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︎ Aug 15 2020
I told my wife βHoney, thereβs a chip in our new bowls!β She was not as impressed.
π︎ 19
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Mashed up dates, chocolate chips, peanut butter, granola, almonds....delicious homemade granola bars
π︎ 56
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︎ Jun 12 2020
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
π︎ 16
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︎ Sep 23 2020
What does Pac-Man eat with his chips?
π︎ 10k
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︎ Mar 22 2019
I love working at the chip factory...
But my boss really Lays in on me, and it Ruffles my feathers
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 05 2020
I phoned the wife earlier and asked if she wanted me to pick up Fish and Chips on the way home, but she just grunted at me.
I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.
π︎ 55
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︎ Apr 30 2021
What do you call a monkey that loves chips?
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 28 2020
There was a fight in the fish and chip shop
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 24 2020
A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where there was a brother frying chips.
"Are you the friar?" he asked.
The brother replied, "No, I'm the chip monk".
π︎ 45
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Did you hear that there was a big fight down at the fish and chips shop
The fish got battered and the chips got assaulted
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
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