Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
I was in A&E with a bad cut. I asked the nurse if I could do my own stitches. She said “suture self”.
To the EM who told me not to sew up your child's leg: Suture Self
I told me my doctor I didn’t want her to give me stitches.
She said “fine, suture self.”
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision?
What do you say when someone wants to stitch their own wound?
A chef cut himself and went to the emergency room...
The nurses patched him in triage and after a long wait, the doctor called him in. "You'll take about eight stitches and be on your way." The chef replied, "I can tell you're all very busy here, so just hand me the needle and I'll be on my way." The doctor looked by turns insulted, annoyed and dismissive.
"Fine then. Suture self."
The other day I walked into my son's room and found him with an open first aid kit, preparing to stitch up a cut on his forearm.
I told him to stop and that I would take him to the doctor for a more rofessional job. He told me he wanted to do it as he was working on his first aid merit badge for the boy scouts. So I said, "Suture self."
What did the hospital tell the doctor who wanted to do his own surgery?
Nurse: Wow, that cut looks pretty bad...want me to stitch it up for you?
Me: No, thanks.
Nurse: Fine. Suture self...
What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?
I invented an at home kit for giving yourself stitches.
I'm calling it Suture Self.
At the surgery this bloke told me "I don't trust you to stitch my wound" "
I told the doctor at the ER that I could do my own stitch work.
He replied “Okay, suture self”
What did the ER Nurse say to the belligerent, know-it-all surgeon, who came in with a large laceration?
"Well fine, then. Suture self."
So, you don’t trust a doctor to stitch you up?
My doctor says I need an operation, but I can't afford it. I asked the doctor if it was something I could do on my own.
Two doctors are out hiking and the first one trips and cuts his knee pretty badly on a rock. The second doctor says, "That looks pretty bad. Want me to stitch that up for you?" The first doctor says, "Nah, I got it."
The second doctor responds, "Suture self."
I had aspirations of being a doctor when I grew up. My dad said he would never let me operate on him.
Fine, I said, suture self.
The other day I had a patient who didn’t want to let me stitch up his laceration. Well fine...
What was the doctor's response when his patient refused medical care?
I'm gonna create open sores software...
...and stay on the bleeding edge of technology. But if you don't like my software, you can suture self.
My wife said I needed to go to the hospital after getting a deep cut. I refused.
An email exchange with my Dad after a trip to the ER...
Me to Dad:
Hey Dad! How's it going? I'm waiting for stitches. This seriously happens annually. I should buy a suture kit...
Dad to me:
Crazy glue works as a surgical glue for some smaller injuries, hurts less than a suture needle, but hey... suture-self.
The dishwasher at work told me this one:
What did the doctor say to the kid that didn't want stitches?
Suture self.
My roommate made this one up (she doesn't know how to post)
What did the doctor say to the man who refused stitches? ... "Suture self"
any thoughts?
Last week, I witnessed a bad, single vehicle car accident...
There was a bloodied man lying on the road. As I got closer, I could see that he had cuts all over his body. I offered to help him out, but he said that he was actually a surgeon, it wasn't as bad as it looked, and he was in good enough health and spirits to do everything on his own.
I replied "Fine, suture self."
Talking about my wisdom teeth removal, dad busts this out
"A know it all patient is trying to tell the surgeon how to do everything. The surgeon throws up his hands and says 'Suture yourself!'"
(Suit yourself)
Cue eye rolling from me and my mom...
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision?
I was about to stitch up her wound but she insisted she do it herself.
"Fine," i said. "Suture self."
You don't want me to close your wound for you?
What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do their own stitches?
What did the surgeon say to the patient who refused help?
I cut my finger the other day...
I told the doctor I could do the stitches on my own. He said, "Suture self."
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