What do you call a quadruple amputee in a pool?

Bob.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnbreakableHoe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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What does an amputee say when they need help?

Excuse me can you gimme a hand?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vinny_Fox
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What is it called when an amputee does karate?

Partial Arts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Light_bulbnz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Why was the amputee sad?

He had just been defeeted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/its_just_quin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Never trust an amputee

You can’t count on them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I've been trying to come up with a clever name for an amputee support group.

But so far, I'm stumped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WulliesTime
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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My kid is an amputee. For xmas I got her a new prosthetic leg

It's just a stocking filler

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishslap
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Somebody asked me to describe my life as an amputee, but I couldn't answer.

I was stumped.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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I sing like an amputee..

Cause I can’t hold a note, can’t carry a tune.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaulinBoats
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Our amputee friend was pissed when we hid his prosthetic arm...

He didn't find it humerus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siKing
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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I once challenged an amputee to a swordfight

But he came unarmed :/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pineapple_cherry
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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VP Joe Biden announced he has hired a female amputee speech writer.

He said she would be really good at stump speeches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M4sterofD1saster
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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I asked my amputee daughter if she could guess what we are having for dinner tonight

She replied with "I don't know dad I'm stumped"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkourturtle69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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I once won an argument against an amputee.

As it turns out, he didn't have a leg to stand on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2723brad2723
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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I lied on my application for membership to the American Amputee Association

When they found out, I was dismembered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Happy_Each_Day
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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What do you call a quad amputee floating in the ocean?

Bob...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fthisguy69420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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My friend was floundering along till he met his amputee girlfriend.

She single-handedly changed his life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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An amputee found a cheap artificial arm for sale on Ebay.

It was secondhand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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Why did the bear amputee join the NRA?

For the right to bear arms.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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What’s an amputee ninja’s favorite weapon?

The nubchuck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saltyjoe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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A husband comes home and finds his amputee wife lying in the bathtub with the shower head on, crying.

He feels pity at the sight and asks "What's wrong, love?" She turns to him and says "I can't stand showering without my legs"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironfist221
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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Why couldn't the amputee be an editor?

He didn't have the footage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScizorRed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Why was the amputee depressed?

He was de-feeted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coverslide
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
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Essay : discuss the advantages and disadvantages of being an amputee

Well on the one hand it can have a huge psychological impact

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CVSSR
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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As an amputee, I think this needs to be said about one-arm jokes...

While on the one hand, they can certainly be hilarious

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
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My amputee friend just got cool new bionic legs...

...they're an amazing technological feat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tabdelineated
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2016
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What do you call an amputee riding passenger in a two-seater?

Sawed-off shotgun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/duntchwishugnu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
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What do you call a boring amputee?

Lame.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spamallthethings
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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Saw an amputee in the gym today..

I couldn't help but think "I wonder if he skips on leg day?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeisenbergTheKing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
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I really wanted to go to the amputee convention...

but it costs an arm and a leg to get in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wellsdb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
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Why did the hand amputee propose to so many women?

He wanted their hand in marriage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/throwaway1219021
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2018
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What type of coffee does an amputee prefer?

Decalf!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mataxu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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What do you call a German amputee?

Hans-free

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πŸ‘€︎ u/takes_no_offense
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
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My wife caught me having sex with an amputee

But like I always say "no arm, no foul"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tuckereh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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What do you call a multiple-amputee guy who's stuck in a whirlpool?

Eddy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nrith
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2015
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The best part about being an above-knee amputee.

I asked a friend of mine if she liked being my friend, which of course, she said yes. I then asked her if she liked me as a person, which, of course she confirmed.


"Why are you asking questions like this? What's wrong?"

"Well, I heard you were lack-toes intolerant....."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakonFyre
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
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How does the quadruple-amputee bear describe the morning after his surgery?

I woke up like this. Pawless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jbolte254
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2014
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What do call an amputee that does karate?

Partial arts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sk1wbw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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What did the surgeon say to the amputee?

Need a hand there?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raheel1075
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
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