Coronavirus is now all over the world
But China got it right off the bat.
Last light I seen a drunk couple weaving all over the street
I thought ‘honestly, get a loom’.
Cupcake decorating took a turn on Valentine's day when my daughter got frosting all over the freezer
I told my wife to just leave it though since the freezer has an auto defrost feature
My friend rolled the ball down the lane 10 times, knocking over all the pins each time!
In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...
It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogues all over the house.
So, I've taken the hint...
I got her a magazine rack!
Remember the good old days, when we used to eat cake, after someone blew all over it ?
My wife and kids put stickers all over a bottle of liquor for my dad for Christmas.
I said " Give him a gift of the Holiday Spirit".
Sneezed all over my toast.
Can’t believe it snot butter...
My wife is going through a tropical food craze. There are fruits all over the house!
It's enough to make a mango crazy!
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
My wife while looking at me: -.-
It's cloudy all over just now.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
I love snails so I painted the letter S all over my car
Now whenever I'm out driving, people point to my car and say: "Look at that S car go."
It’s crazy, all these people running these virtual races, starting all over the place.
Where do we draw the line?
What is black, white and red all over?
I was at my parents house over the weekend. As a joke, I swapped all the labels around on their herbs and spices.
They haven’t noticed yet... but the thyme is cumin.
Murders being conducted all over this block
A truck overturned this morning spilling cabbage all over the highway.
It was horrific! I slaw it happen!
Swarms of flying insects are threatening people all over the city.
The police have deployed all SWAT teams.
My footless brother stepped all over a freshly hatched anthill
Guess you could say he's lack-toes in toddler ants
I've just spilled my protein shake all over myself....
....and all I'm saying is...a donut would never do this to me.
Someone spilled mayo all over me
I was like what the Hellmann!?!
What did the father say to the son after the son peed all over the bathroom?
Dad: Urine big trouble buster
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited.
When she passed away I fulfilled my promise.
She’s dead and berried.
A truck ahead of me spilled its load of cabbage all over the highway...
What’s black and white and red all over?
My downstairs neighbor complains that whenever I eat Doritos on my porch, it gets all over him on his patio. As usual, he's exaggerating.
He just has a chip on his shoulder.
"Are those your pants, stumbling around by themselves and puking all over everything?"
"Yeah, they're my high/wasted jeans."
I travel all over the world and I'm regular, then I come home and suddenly I'm incontinent.
"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"
"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."
a llama walked up to a mirror and immediately started ejecting saliva all over the place
it was his spitting image
There's a rather unknown Greek myth that involved Zeus farting so loudly that it caused powerful lightning storms all over Greece. Panic and chaos ensued, and there was widespread looting as fires raged out on control.
Thus began the Zeus Toot Riots.
I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once.
It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.
Puns are blooming all over this garden....Like a cat fight between a dandelion and tiger lily...
Oops...A Daisy
https://preview.redd.it/wxa25n2a58c51.png?width=2478&format=png&auto=webp&s=8e61299d08db7234a2776473a1ad3c254e04ee80
They just turnip all over
My obese friend was proud as she heaped a pickle topping all over her hot dog...
I think when this pandemic is over with, we need to have a day to celebrate truckers, for keeping the country running throughout all this. Maybe October 4th?
My wife was furious at me for kicking ice-cubes all over the kitchen...
But now it’s just water under the fridge...
My boat flipped over during a storm, so I decided to wear it on my head. After all...
We took Grandpa sledging the other day and he caught a terrible cold. Grandma put goosefat all over his chest.
He went downhill pretty quick after that.
Over the weekend I took my wife to the theatre to see a performance that was all about puns.
It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.
She'll be happy to know I got the hint.
I got her a magazine rack!
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