Terminated Puns

A list of puns related to "Terminated"

My company has a team of 5 people to tell someone they've been terminated...

It's the firing squad.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ May 14 2020
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Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?

Aisle B, back

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👤︎ u/Alpha_Supreme
📅︎ Feb 10 2021
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Life is a terminal disease....

....and it's sexually transmitted.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Feb 28 2021
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I just got fired, and as severance, my company gave me a bag of used coffee.

They said it was grounds for termination.

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👤︎ u/jvlpdillon
📅︎ Feb 25 2021
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How does an Italian Terminator say goodbye?

Pasta La Pizza Baby!

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👤︎ u/afarro
📅︎ Jan 08 2021
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What do you call a missing Terminator actor?

A Sarah Goner

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👤︎ u/CocoBandicoot99
📅︎ Nov 30 2020
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What would the terminator be called after his retirement?

The Exterminator

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👤︎ u/FlintTheDad
📅︎ Sep 03 2020
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How do you catch a flying Terminator?

With a Skynet!

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👤︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
📅︎ Oct 22 2020
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I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it’s terminal.

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👤︎ u/christiescrubbs
📅︎ Feb 27 2021
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What do you get when you cross a chicken with The Terminator?

I’ll be bok, bok, bok.

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👤︎ u/beezkneezsneez
📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they don’t have to be put down.

He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.

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👤︎ u/srirachase
📅︎ Aug 11 2020
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Where did the Terminator find toilet paper?

Aisle B, Back

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👤︎ u/Zeffer90
📅︎ May 09 2020
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Some well considered puns

From an email my cousin sent me:

I wanted to be a monk but I never got the chants.

I was kidnapped by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me.

The finest shoes are made of smooth leather, my opinion will never be suede.

A perfectionist walked into a bar - apparently it wasn't set high enough.

Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He's in ICU.

Went to this horrible bar called "The Fiddle" ... it really was a vile inn.

To the thief who stole my glasses, I will find you - I have contacts.

If any of you knows how to fix hinges my door is always open.

Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect.

Cold? Go stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees.

If your guy doesn't appreciate fresh fruit puns let that mango.

A few puns make me numb but math puns make me number.

My friend was explaining electricity and I was like "Watt"?

Someone threw a jar of mayo at me, I was like "What the hellman?"

Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, back.

Due to the quarantine I'll only be doing inside jokes.

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👤︎ u/Eli_Truax
📅︎ Mar 19 2021
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I asked the guy in the store where is the terminator dvd ...

He responded, “Aisle B, Back”

Edit: wow first silver!!!! Thank you 🙏🏾 anonymous Redditor!

Edit2: my wife doesn’t use reddit. She’s thoroughly enjoying the responses to the joke in the joke jar she created for me and the silver (“whatever those are”). Happy Father’s!

Edit3: https://imgur.com/gallery/5G25Flw wife got me a nice gift 🎁

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👤︎ u/i_r_i_e
📅︎ Jun 16 2019
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What are terminators called when they retire?

Exterminators

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👤︎ u/siphodeus
📅︎ Oct 20 2019
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Why did the terminator kill people even after retirement?

He was an ex-terminator

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👤︎ u/vdtxdtc_chf
📅︎ Feb 21 2020
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What's the difference between a filthy Greyhound terminal and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and one is a busty crustacean.

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👤︎ u/rfdyl12
📅︎ Nov 03 2019
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Where did the patient stay?

In the waiting room.

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👤︎ u/Spivdaddy
📅︎ Jan 27 2021
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I asked the shop assistant where the Terminator action figures were.

She said "Aisle B, back".

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👤︎ u/hughdman
📅︎ Feb 07 2020
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‪Why is The Terminator bullet proof?‬

‪Because he’s Armored Schwarzenegger‬

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👤︎ u/dubaidadjokes
📅︎ Feb 13 2020
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What did the Terminator say to Mozart?

I'll be Bach.

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👤︎ u/mclovins91
📅︎ Nov 22 2019
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What did the Terminator say when he decided to become a composer?

I'll be Bach.

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👤︎ u/jfshay
📅︎ Oct 25 2019
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I was talking to my girlfriend only to hear that she had never seen the Terminator.

Now they call me the ex-terminator.

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👤︎ u/NameTheTrait
📅︎ Jan 10 2020
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What’s the difference between an old Greyhound terminal, and a lobster with 36DD breasts?

One’s a dusty bus station & the other is a busty crustacean!

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👤︎ u/lind-zayy
📅︎ Jul 24 2019
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Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?

He recently pasta way...

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👤︎ u/jworkmusicofficial
📅︎ Aug 04 2019
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After Arnie's last Terminator film, he became even more lethal

as an exTerminator

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👤︎ u/cotswoldboy
📅︎ Oct 26 2019
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I told my parents I had a terminal illness and they freaked out.

Since when is getting a headache at the airport such a big deal?

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👤︎ u/LadenStarfish
📅︎ Oct 23 2019
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What do you call someone that cancels your appointment?

A disappointment

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👤︎ u/MR_Chuan
📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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Why do you have to be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs?

You have to be careful that you don’t step in a poodle.

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👤︎ u/OGFreshmeatlover
📅︎ Sep 28 2020
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I caught the flu at an airport once.

It was a terminal illness.

(Special thanks to my dog's friend's dad for this one)

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👤︎ u/PKE95
📅︎ Dec 14 2020
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What terminal illness can you get from ear rape

Hearing aids

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👤︎ u/gabbe20022
📅︎ Feb 22 2019
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What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?

The exterminator.

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👤︎ u/ksol88
📅︎ Jul 20 2020
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I asked my boss to donate to support Asian children with terminal illnesses.

He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.

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👤︎ u/srirachase
📅︎ Aug 11 2020
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Where did the terminator find toilet paper?

Aisle B, back!

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👤︎ u/AlabamaMayan
📅︎ Apr 08 2020
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I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it’s terminal

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👤︎ u/schiggy182
📅︎ Sep 04 2020
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Where did the terminator find toilet paper?

Aisle B. Back

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👤︎ u/Patrick_L58
📅︎ May 12 2020
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I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.

I think it may be terminal

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👤︎ u/cotswoldboy
📅︎ Jan 04 2021
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What does an Italian terminator say

Pasta-lavista

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👤︎ u/Mooman5
📅︎ Jan 14 2019
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What did the Terminator say when asked about which composer he'd be for Halloween?

"I'll be Bach."

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👤︎ u/jfshay
📅︎ Nov 01 2019
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I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes

My doctor says it terminal

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👤︎ u/torrenter_11
📅︎ Aug 23 2020
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What's the difference between a old London bus terminal and a lobster with 36DD breasts?

Ones a crusty bus station and the others a busty crustacean

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👤︎ u/BLAZEtms
📅︎ Jun 08 2019
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