PasTatUTe yUmMY
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📅︎ Mar 10 2020
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Very yummy
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👤︎ u/Sam_Rookey
📅︎ May 20 2019
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My girlfriend swore up and down she could learn to orgasm by smelling, hearing or tasting something yummy.

Goofy girl! After 6 months of trying, she finally came to her senses.

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📅︎ Mar 12 2019
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Yummy
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👤︎ u/surugashiz
📅︎ Mar 29 2019
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Yummy
👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Nov 22 2018
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I like Synonym Toast Crunch.

It's tasty. And yummy as well.

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👤︎ u/tafkat
📅︎ Sep 13 2020
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Guess it belongs here
👍︎ 7k
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📅︎ Sep 27 2019
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Tea

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1 and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken among other injuries.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??'

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📅︎ Apr 21 2020
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sorry for the cheesy editing
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👤︎ u/liltrigger
📅︎ Jun 04 2019
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I'd rather not
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👤︎ u/Paerpie
📅︎ Sep 26 2019
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Japanese foods have such weird names.

They always claim to be yaki but are actually pretty yummy.

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📅︎ Oct 01 2018
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Four year old daughter just dropped this one on me

What do roads eat?

Traffic jam.

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👤︎ u/thom612
📅︎ Jul 13 2017
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Got the wife at the supermarket.

We were walking through produce and as we're passing by the fruit she sees some clementines and says "Clementines are yummy, I just wanna eat em!" To which I replied "Clementine will remember this."

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👤︎ u/Rakugi
📅︎ Apr 14 2015
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Dancer Names

As a father of three, by far my favorite Dad Joke has to be claiming things as my "Dancer Names". I have at least one or two a week.

It's whenever someone says something in conversation which sounds like it could be a Stripper name. Off the top of my head, here are some I've used:

"Yummy Cupcakes", "Pansy Taboo", "Stamen Fuzz", "Dark Almond", "Squeeze Bacon", "Bolt Upright"

I'll often follow it up with a hint as to what that show may just be like.

Guy on television: "The bee is now covered in stamin fuzz..."

Me: "'Stamen Fuzz' is my dancer name. Quite a show; not for the allergic."

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📅︎ Nov 15 2014
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