Make Band Names Edible (Taken Way Too Seriously). You’re welcome.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brightsidek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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My friend told me, "Did you know trees drop edible stuff, that aren't fruit?"

"That's nuts." I replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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What kind of key is edible?

A turkey πŸ¦ƒ happy thanksgiving

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πŸ‘€︎ u/b-dummy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Impossible Foods is introducing a new line of Edible Plant based Panties.

They call them Bloomers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dusty-cat-albany
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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What did the edible fungus say when it ate too much food

I haven’t got mush-room in my stomach.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wassup369
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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What piece of winter clothing is edible?

A scarf.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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I used to be in a relationship with a person who made edible stickers for a living.

We had to part ways though, they were getting too clingy for my tastes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmHere420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Edible condoms are literally junk food
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tschatz1010
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Child: Dad, I don't think this dish is entirely edible

Dad: You can do it. Bay Leaf in yourself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/apothecaragorn19
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Did you hear about the farmer who accidentally gave his cattle edibles before inspection?

The steaks had never been higher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Testacleez
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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A lost dog strays into the jungle one day. From a distance, a lion sees this and thinks to himself, "Hmmm, this guy looks edible, I've never seen his kind before."

So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.

As he's about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, "Mmm... That was some good lion meat!"

The lion screeches to a halt and says, "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can" and then runs away.

Over in a tree, is a monkey who sees everything and realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion what happened and getting something in return.

So the monkey finds the lion and tells him what really happened.

The lion says to the monkey angrily, "Get on my back, we'll get him together".

So the monkey climbs on the lion's back and they start rushing back to the dog.

The dog sees them, realizes what has happened and starts to panic even more.

But then he gets another idea and shouts, "Where is that monkey!?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Whenever I ask my dad what's for dinner he answers "food," when I ask what kind of food he says "Edible food."
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Axtrek_18
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2016
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An edible pale green seed of an Asian tree is very very angry with you for calling him a nut.

He's really pistachio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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I ate an edible and wrote my boss a note before I quit my job.

At least I left on a high note.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PowerPineapple2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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I have a invention! It's a small edible device that would freshen your breath while simultaneously releasing a subtle and soothing A-chord. You would use the device (with the fresh breath and soothing sound) to help increase the effectiveness of apologies.

I call it:

THE A-TONE-MINT!!!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gbeeson
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
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My parents found my weed edibles again.

I'll have to hide my dandelion salads elsewhere.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wer190
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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A cow got into my edibles drawer.

It’s a high steaks situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-notter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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A crisis has developed after a herd of cows ate an entire shipment of edibles

Officials say the steaks have never been higher

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bendragonpants
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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A number once said it wasn’t edible.

Then it got 8.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cringelord123456
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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When you slice open avocados and realize some parts are not edible...

that’s the pits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bismuth482
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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I'm starting a company that makes edible neck warmers

My slogan will be "You can't resist scarfing these down."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cantaloupe_elope
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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If I eat a Marijuana edible

Will I get a pot belly?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UMDMustang92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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Did you hear there's a new line of edible baseball cards?

They're called tater topps

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglyoldbob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
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What do you call the oil that's not edible anymore?

Spoil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_pundey_69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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Since chocolate money is edible...

is it classed as bitecoin?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZMech
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
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If I was to go into edible fashion design I'd call my company "The Smell"

Our ad campaign would be "Can you rock what The Smell is cooking?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
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I know how you feel about my compulsion to mention edible footwear,

but could we taco boot it later?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWonderland18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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What flavor would dad jokes be if they were edible?

Pop-corny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilplushie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2016
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An Edible Easter Pun kertoons.blogspot.com.au/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerinthians
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
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Rust is edible.

After all, it is a form of car-rot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexIsAnAI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2015
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How do you make a bag edible?

You pour water on it. It makes a bag wet.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2015
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Last night I went to, Alton Brown's Edible Inevitable tour. Alton Brown is a dad so I guess this counts.

Alton was working with his prop Bessy the cow when he pulled a stool out from it.

Alto says "Do you know why this stool is so small?" No one answers. He said "because it's a sample."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyingMjunkY
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
🚨︎ report

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