My friend told me, "Did you know trees drop edible stuff, that aren't fruit?"

"That's nuts." I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Impossible Foods is introducing a new line of Edible Plant based Panties.

They call them Bloomers!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dusty-cat-albany
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of key is edible?

A turkey πŸ¦ƒ happy thanksgiving

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b-dummy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the edible fungus say when it ate too much food

I haven’t got mush-room in my stomach.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wassup369
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What piece of winter clothing is edible?

A scarf.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to be in a relationship with a person who made edible stickers for a living.

We had to part ways though, they were getting too clingy for my tastes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmHere420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Child: Dad, I don't think this dish is entirely edible

Dad: You can do it. Bay Leaf in yourself.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/apothecaragorn19
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the farmer who accidentally gave his cattle edibles before inspection?

The steaks had never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Testacleez
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Edible condoms are literally junk food
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tschatz1010
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A lost dog strays into the jungle one day. From a distance, a lion sees this and thinks to himself, "Hmmm, this guy looks edible, I've never seen his kind before."

So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.

As he's about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, "Mmm... That was some good lion meat!"

The lion screeches to a halt and says, "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can" and then runs away.

Over in a tree, is a monkey who sees everything and realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion what happened and getting something in return.

So the monkey finds the lion and tells him what really happened.

The lion says to the monkey angrily, "Get on my back, we'll get him together".

So the monkey climbs on the lion's back and they start rushing back to the dog.

The dog sees them, realizes what has happened and starts to panic even more.

But then he gets another idea and shouts, "Where is that monkey!?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!"

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
An edible pale green seed of an Asian tree is very very angry with you for calling him a nut.

He's really pistachio

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Whenever I ask my dad what's for dinner he answers "food," when I ask what kind of food he says "Edible food."
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Axtrek_18
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Is the bread edible?

Me: Has the bread gone bad yet? Is it edible?

My dad: stares into me for at least 30 seconds.

My dad: No son, it's there for decoration.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LateV_28
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I ate an edible and wrote my boss a note before I quit my job.

At least I left on a high note.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PowerPineapple2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My parents found my weed edibles again.

I'll have to hide my dandelion salads elsewhere.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wer190
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a invention! It's a small edible device that would freshen your breath while simultaneously releasing a subtle and soothing A-chord. You would use the device (with the fresh breath and soothing sound) to help increase the effectiveness of apologies.

I call it:

THE A-TONE-MINT!!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gbeeson
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
🚨︎ report
A cow got into my edibles drawer.

It’s a high steaks situation.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J-notter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
A crisis has developed after a herd of cows ate an entire shipment of edibles

Officials say the steaks have never been higher

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bendragonpants
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A number once said it wasn’t edible.

Then it got 8.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cringelord123456
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When you slice open avocados and realize some parts are not edible...

that’s the pits

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bismuth482
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a company that makes edible neck warmers

My slogan will be "You can't resist scarfing these down."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cantaloupe_elope
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
If I eat a Marijuana edible

Will I get a pot belly?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UMDMustang92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear there's a new line of edible baseball cards?

They're called tater topps

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglyoldbob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the oil that's not edible anymore?

Spoil.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_pundey_69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Since chocolate money is edible...

is it classed as bitecoin?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZMech
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
🚨︎ report
If I was to go into edible fashion design I'd call my company "The Smell"

Our ad campaign would be "Can you rock what The Smell is cooking?"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
🚨︎ report
I know how you feel about my compulsion to mention edible footwear,

but could we taco boot it later?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWonderland18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
🚨︎ report
What flavor would dad jokes be if they were edible?

Pop-corny

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilplushie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2016
🚨︎ report
An Edible Easter Pun kertoons.blogspot.com.au/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerinthians
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Rust is edible.

After all, it is a form of car-rot.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexIsAnAI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2015
🚨︎ report
How do you make a bag edible?

You pour water on it. It makes a bag wet.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Last night I went to, Alton Brown's Edible Inevitable tour. Alton Brown is a dad so I guess this counts.

Alton was working with his prop Bessy the cow when he pulled a stool out from it.

Alto says "Do you know why this stool is so small?" No one answers. He said "because it's a sample."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyingMjunkY
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
🚨︎ report

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