WOOD yall give some wood puns
Wood puns
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Punny Redditors, I need your best "wood" puns!
I need help for a project! What are your best puns that have anything to do with wood?
Examples:
"Can I axe you a question?"
"I wood stay longer, but I have to leaf now"
EDIT: another one: "birch please!"
I can cut wood in half with my eyes..
I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own eyes.
Credit my little brother, kid's a pro
What do you call someone skilled at chopping wood?
A young boy and an old man are walking through the woods at night. The boy tells the man: "I'm scared. It's really dark and spooky out here."
The old man replies, "YOU'RE scared?! I'm the one that has to walk back alone!"
When is a sailor a piece of wood?
Some people claim to have seen a hairy, ape-like man walking through the woods.
I’ve been looking for years. Never seen it! At least, not yeti
Hear about the guy who stuck his leg inside a wood chipper?
What kind of wood that can sing,dance and act
What did the piece of wood say when it had nothing to do?
Wood you say my dog is ok?
Mr Wood
Dimitrius Wood so mismanaged the lumberyard, that he was left with a surplus of wood. It was such a debacle that if you ever came anywhere NEAR the lumberyard even years later you could see signs that said
“Fire Wood”
What's the weakest part of Tiger Woods game?
"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."
They asked me how I put the wood together so well.
A bear is riding a bike in the woods
when he passes a man who notices him and yells:
"What the heck?! Bears don't know how to ride bikes!
The bear replies: "oh right, i forgot!" and tips over.
My uncle used to tell me this joke as a kid and it took me a while to understand the tiny but valuable lesson behind it.
I heard that Tiger Wood's car accident was caused by a problem with his tires...
What do you call a podium that eats wood?
Someone asked how much I know about carving objects out of wood.
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
How does a T-Rex cut wood?
Once I finally finished installing the thin wood flooring in my large living room, I thought to myself...
I wood not want to spend it
I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...
I didn't expect it but he took a fence.
A father and son were sitting in the woods.
Son: Dad, do trees poop?
Dad: Of course son, how do you think we get #2 pencils.
So a bear walks out of the woods onto a golf course
The golfers didn't want to bear with him about the whereabouts of Tiger Woods and ran towards another bearing.
How do you find your dog if it's lost in the woods?
Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!
Tiger Woods was in a car accident this morning...
Did you hear about the tiger woods crash?
“Hey, how much wood have you chopped so far?”
“Not sure. Let me check the logs.”
Perhaps this is why wood floors are so popular these days
Never make love to a thin piece of wood without using protection.
If you forget, you might get a veneereal disease.
Why did Tiger Woods' house burn down?
Because he got rid of all his hose.
Tiger Woods in a massive car crash.
Should have used the driver.
I thought Tiger Woods was supposed to be good at driving...
How come tiger woods doesn’t golf anymore?
Did you hear about Tiger Woods latest handicap?
A priest in the woods has been attacked by a pack of wolves. In a moment of desperation, the priest started to ask God how to get out of this situation.
The wolves may be predators but he pray
Why do you want to sleep in the woods?
I once built a car out of wood
True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says “they are knot holes”.
Miss4 says “if they are not holes, what are they?”
I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.
I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.
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