What’s the difference between Taxes and Texas?
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws. The other has a pause at the end of its clause.
What's the difference between Mordor and the Capital?
One does not simply walk into Mordor
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster that just got a boob job?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
What’s the difference between politicians and flying pigs?
What is the difference between a teepee and George Michael’s toupee?
One’s a wigwam, one’s a Wham! wig.
What is the difference between Butt and Butte?
One is the rear of an organism, the other is the rear of Montana.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman!
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
What's the difference between a Rabbit and a Hare?
One is hare-ier than the other!
What's the biggest difference between male patients in a mental hospital and their female nurses?
What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A mosquito can fly but a fly can't mosquito.
My 11 year old daughter told me this one this evening lol.
What is the difference between a radius and a diameter?
What’s the difference between a lousy trashy stand up comedian, and a father making jokes about pens?
One is bad at telling dick jokes, the other is dad at telling Bic jokes.
What's the difference between a boy clock and a girl clock?
A boy clock goes "tick tock, tick tock, tick tock" and a girl clock just tocks...and tocks...and tocks.
What’s the difference between milk and yogurt?
Yogurt comes from a more sophisticated culture.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef!
>!Not everyone can pea (pee) soup!!<
what's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
The people in Dubai don't like The Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi do.
What's the difference between a cow and a moose?
A cow always moos but a moose never cows
What's the difference between AM and FM?
What's the difference between Mike Wazowski and a carrot?
One's a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
What's the difference between a enzyme and a hormone?
You can't make a enzyme...
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer
What’s the difference between “but” and “butt”
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle?
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
What's the difference between a rock thrown at you and a crazy girlfriend?
It doesn't hurt when the rock misses you.
What's the difference between a vacation and metal earplugs?
One is o-cation-al and the other is quiet off tin.
Whats the difference between me and America?
America found their Father
What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner ?
The position of the dirt bag
What is the difference between a outlaw and a in-law?
What’s the difference between someone going to prison and a guy who has a mobile knife sharpening business?
One gets incarcerated, the other is in-car-serrated
What's the difference between going out with a Geologist and a Geographer?
One rocks, the other will give you the world.
What’s the difference between 2016-2020 America and a set of braces?
There is none, they both promote being white and straight
Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
Trump didn’t pay 50k to have a garbanzo bean on his face
What's the difference between Michelob ultra and pure gold?
One is a minor fined, the other is a miner's find.
What's the difference between a seal and a sealion?
What's the difference between phyllo dough and kleenex?
They both look like tissue but only one will make you cry.
What is the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has strings
A fiddle has strangs
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.50 but deer nuts are under a buck
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, while the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean.
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme...
What’s the difference between my wife and a lightbulb
You can unscrew a lightbulb
What's the difference between Outlaws and Inlaws ?
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
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