What do you say to warn your family you're about to test a new dad joke on them?
What does a dad do when he thinks of new jokes?
He tries them on for sighs.
What do you call a pig from New York?
What did the new car sales guy say when the customer asked about the cargo space?
“No. No. This car go road.”
(saw a meme with this awhile back. Gets me every time)
If a father in Iraq gifts his daughter a new bag, what will she say?
We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."
What was your new years resolution?
What did Paul McCartney say when he met John’s new girlfriend?
Ono, Ono, Ono no no no...
What's your new years resolution?
What did Times New Roman say about Comic Sans?
Yeah, he's funny, but he's just not my type.
What's New Jersey's favorite letter?
If Virginia wore a New Jersey what did Delaware?
I don’t know, Alaska. (I’ll ask her)
I hate working for what I want. Capitalism has ruined everything. Every time I dip my pen in the company ink, nine months later my wife hires a new employee.
I went to the zoo the other day. One of the new exhibits was a piece of toast in a cage. I asked the zookeeper "what's that all about?" He said...
What are your resolution going to be for the new year?
Still on 1080p? or upgraded to 4k already?
What did the new crematorium say about the grave digger?
I’m about to ruin this man’s hole career.
What do you call old news?
I never remember what people tell me at New Year's parties
It goes in one year and out the other.
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied “Screw you!”
So I'm pretty excited for the new year!
What's the most dangerous part of New York in the winter?
What did Ronald Reagan’s wife say when he asked her if she wanted a new herb garden?
What's the best New Year's resolution?
My wife: what's your new year resolution?
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks “What are you counting?”
And the guy says “how many tattoos I have now”
I was visiting my blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
I said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' she answered, “They're watch dogs'!
What do you call a deer from New York
What do you call an elf that lives in New York City?
I don't know what to wear to the living room New Year's Eve
What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?
What’s the new FedEx and UPS merger going to be called?
So what does everyone think of my new tattoo
What did Velveeta call their new line of designer brand cheese?
What do all new Reddit Accounts have in common with the new MacBook Air?
Every time I ask my son what a new phrase means, he tells me to google it.
Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.
What's the new hip political ideology?
What did my dad say to me when I was putting up my new shelves?
"Watch out for yourshelf."
What did Tesla's wife say about his new electric current
"he's going through a phase"
Was Just showing my dad my new living space. He asked “what’s upstairs?”
I Just responded with “dad, stairs don’t talk”
What did the new Reddit icon say to the old Reddit icon?
Orange you glad I’m back?
What did the chemist say when they found two new isotopes of helium?
What did the New Zealander say to the statue in the park?
Groups of more than six will be banned under new Corona rules. So we all know what this means...
Sneezy is getting kicked out the seven dwarfs.
What kind of news does a helicopter read?
Did you hear what the New York Times editor-in-chief said on their last day?
"Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today."
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