I work as a tattoo artist in a wellness center making very specific designs and everyone get really surprised when I tell them that I'm also a doctor...
Nobody expects the Spa Niche Ink Physician.
Co-worker sent e-mail w/ cute photo "Puppy therapy outside, part of wellness fest"
Office manager replied: Why are those puppies in therapy?
My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water”
I know he means well.
(Since my last well-joke did well (pun intended) I thought this would be a nice follow-up)
Well someone had to do it
Get that extra pep in your step from this well
I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
A friend of mine is quite well known for sweeping girls off their feet.
He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
Well we just found out that my grandpa is addicted to Viagra
And man my grandma sure is taking it hard.
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
Why did the blind man walk into the well?
He couldn’t see that well
What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
Did you know Sully js gay? Well, he came out of the closet.
Why did the old lady fall down the well?
She didn’t see that well.
Well they are free (found on reddit r/technicallythetruth )
Why did the pony not do well at his singing audition?
Unfortunately, he was a little hoarse.
Breaking news: Scientists have developed a soundtrack that boosts mental well being and improves immune response to Coronavirus
If approved by the FDA, it will greatly enhance heard immunity.
I passed my forklift test today. I did very well.
My carer says I should be able to try the spoon tomorrow.
Well I mean I would be mad..
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle, and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
edit: had to delete original post, due to misspelling in the title.
Well at least he's satisfied now
I wasn't feeling well this morning...
So, I took my gloves off.
Giving Sub Zero the Mr Freeze quotes makes him not just the coolest of freezy puns, but the frozen one as well.
Thought of this well bringing in groceries.
I was asked to compare English to French.
Well, that's just like comparing grapes to raisins
Well, this one hit the bar
WELL that sucks.. got stuck
The park ranger told me that he would donate all the pennies, nickles, and quarters thrown into the wishing well to my charity.....
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he never gave me a single dime!
Well, well, well.
Three holes in the ground.
Well, well, well, what’s going on here?
I told my son, look the church has locked up the door and turned off their lights. He said, what's that got to do with anything? I said well,...
Once we had a cooking exam. After I finished, teacher said, that it was well done
Why did Harry Potter get along well with Postmen?
It's because he spoke parcel-tongue.
They asked me how I put the wood together so well.
We got a new dog yesterday. He was a rescue and we're so glad to make him a part of our family. 'I think the transition is going well.'
'But your mother thinks it's been ruff.'
My dad literally just said this to me.
Dad: Whatcha reading?
Me: Just Reddit
Dad: Well if you already read it why are you reading it again?! (Nudges me) Get it?? Hahahaha
Me: (rolls eyes) Ha.Ha.
Well when life gives you melons
Did you hear about the well-behaved little boy?
Whenever he was good, his dad gave him 10p and a pat on the head. By the time he was sixteen, he had £786 and a flat head.
Did you know they invented a new test to see how well you can see your mobile phone?
(Warning: Morbid dad joke) True Story -- My family were planning my mum's funeral. We always try to keep things light and try to stay positive, just as Mum would have it...
The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit--
I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit--
Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
Since the pandemic, my friend has been doing well selling vases made from herbs mixed with ancient crushed Chinese plates...
That's pretty good thyme-Ming.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn't see that well
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn't see that well...
Why did the blind man fall in the well?
Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
Why did the old lady fall in the well?
She couldn’t see that well.
Well we just found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra..
And man my grandma sure is taking it hard.
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