What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?

Cheese Was.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schneckesweets
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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What do you call a financial advisor?

A CheezWhiz!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s8anscumrag
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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Future dad joke

Kiddo: Geez whiz dad, we didn't get any snow at all this year!

Papa: Yeah, it never used to be like this back in the colden days...

Everyone: sigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohshitsherlock
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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If your a wizard and all your powers are cheese related, what do you call yourself?

Cheese Whiz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hudson9190
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2016
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What did Dorothy think about her experiences in the Land of Oz?

She was blown away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagingDraugr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
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Computer Puns

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.


Where’s the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.


A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.


If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.


There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.


In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?


Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.


Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.


Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.


An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks β€œmay I join you?”


Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.


Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.


How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It’s a hardware problem.


I named my hard drive β€œdat ass” so once a month my computer asks if I want to β€˜back dat ass up’.


I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.


I changed my password to β€œincorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say β€œYour password is incorrect”.


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.


Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.


I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn’t have internet.


A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.


Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardwar

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
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Confused Mom and a belly laugh from Dad

We were eating dinner. Mom was complaining about her Wendy's broccoli & cheese baked potato. She quietly said "gee whiz...", so I give it a second and respond "no. CHEESE whiz."

After a few more seconds my mom mutters "whaaat?" while my Dad's face is contracting.

Unreasonably high levels of pride followed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r3ynoldswrap
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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Heading in for an appointment...

If you've ever been to a hospital that has valet service, you know that they can sometimes drive like jerks.

So my dad and I were driving up the parking ramp to our parking space for an appointment (valet service is optional at this hospital), and one of the valet drivers was riding our ass the whole way. I said, "Damn, this guy in the Lincoln needs to slow down." My dad responded, "The valets here all drive like jerks." As we reached the parking spot the guy pretty much blew past. So then I chimed in with "You'd think people at a hospital would be more patient." And my dad just replied with a groan and a "gee whiz."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaffleBrothel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
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What do you call it when the cheese whiz is gone?

Cheese whaz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lorbidphoenix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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