It was a match made in heaving!
Me: Wait, what??
Her: I’m pregnant, you know.
Me: I know, but why are you calling me sickness?
Is it called an acid attack?
It's a running gag
It yakked on his shoes!
Unfortunately, something came up.
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
Because acid reflects.
Suddenly, one of them starts sniffling and getting all emotional.
The second asks, "why, what's the matter?"
The emotional vomit replies, "Just nostalgia - this is the place I was brought up..."
a crocobile
Because he found them revolting
"She partied too hard last night" http://i.imgur.com/3ZMRVFq.jpg
I am requesting the shittiest, most terrible, most horrible dad level puns you can throw my way. Puns that would make others projectile vomit with their horribleness. Puns so aweful and sad, that it'd make me want to hug you and ask you....are you okay?
so send them my way. or there will be a severe....PUNishment...
You don't want to press your luck
You know vomiting and diarrhea
"What is it?" she asked.
"It's our son," I replied. "He vomited all over the seats of your new car."
She shouted, "Well, why the hell did he do that? It's your fault!"
"It's your fault," I insisted. "You said I should take him out for a spin in it."
She has pneumonia and was not able to go trick or treating this year. I told her how was sick on Halloween once but I got into my mummy costume and went trick or treating anyway, vomited after going to one house and then went back home.
Daughter: "Wow Dad, you were dead-icated."
I am so proud of her. She is 6.
So my family and I were clothes shopping and when we got in the car afterwards, my mom said that something smelled like sweat. My dad turns and says, "well, ChikaChikaSlimShady just bought a sweatshirt!"
"I never know what to put on the fireplace mantle."
"You should put a bunch of Disney figurines on it, with the mouse in the middle... it can be the Mickey Mantle."
"I ... need to go vomit."
My dad's friend has a dog that always gets carsick and throws up, and he was asking my dad for advice on how to keep her from vomiting every time they get in the car.
"You should let her drive."
