BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board

Whoops, wrong sub.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zekesnack
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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In addition to Taiwan, the US has also sold torpedoes to Vietnam. Rather than pay money, they traded with a huge bulk of food. The weapons are now called ...

Pho Ton Torpedoes.

(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Metalprof
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 21 2020
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What do you call leaving the Vietnam war with a new wife?

A Nguyen-Nguyen

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/craigislonely
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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I wanna go spend a few weeks working a waiter in Vietnam so I can tell my kids I served in 'Nam.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/figgerer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?

You don't know 'cause YOU WEREN'T THERE!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Orlen86
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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My friend went to Vietnam a while back, she could receive texts but not send them so I saw this as a perfect opportunity to send her some quality puns
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/siliconmac
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 26 2019
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My two favorite coworkers are both from Vietnam.

so working with them is always a Nguyen-Nguyen situation

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dubeykeebler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Why didn't Anakin Skywalker go to Vietnam?

He was a Draft Evader

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/zaphodsheads
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
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What did the Japanese rose say to the American soldier when they met in Vietnam?

Miso Thorny

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/spacecadet24
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
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My dad was talking to his dad at dinner today. My grandfather was drafted and fought in Vietnam for 11 months

Dad: Did you have any issues when you got back from war?

Granddad: Clearly. I met my wife

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FoxofDesertion
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2015
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This building is Vietnam war era construction...

theres a draft.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mcnutty226
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
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A Vietnam vet bought me a drill head set

texted my dad "A nice Vietnam Vet just bought me a drill set!"

Dad: "He must have been a good man in Nam, and it sounds like he's a good man now. Looks like he hasn't changed a BIT!"

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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Some guy injected my dog with napalm the other day.

I think he was Vietnam vet.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RayInRed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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What do you call Vietnamese animal doctors?

Vietnam Vets.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PlotTwizted
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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The stars are bright

My dad is a Navy Vietnam vet who is about to be a retired GM electrical engineer. He is retiring against his will because he has had three strokes, colon cancer, a pulmonary embolism, necrotic esophagus, renal failure, pneumonia, basically a medical shitstorm and he survived it all. In the process, he has lost a lot of memory and quite a bit of his cognitive abilities and furthermore, his balance. However, when I took out the trash tonight at nearly half past ten, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful the stars looked outside tonight. So upon returning, I told my mom and dad "The stars sure are bright tonight. They look amazing." To which my dad then asked, "You know why they're so bright, right?" Now I'm an amateur astronomer. Hell, my first and only telescope was inherited to me by my mother who got it from her father. So knowing its winter and I live in Michigan, I tell my father, "Because its so cold and dry, the star light isn't blocked as much?" His reply; "No. Its because the sun went down. So now its darker outside." Dad: 1. Me: -5.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Hyperbattleship
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 18 2015
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These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:

I want to wreck ya vic!

Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?

Coz He'll sinky

What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?

Their Brunei

Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.

Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.

I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"

The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin

Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!

The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important

The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.

A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.

What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car

Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you

They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo

People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me

Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera

Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there

I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm

If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Spoghead
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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What do you call an animal doctor in Da Nang?

A Vietnam vet.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aujnaj
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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Dadjoked my dad from halfway across the planet.

My Father is currently on vacation with my Mother in Vietnam and everyday he sends photo trip reports.

Today he emailed me and sent the following.

Countryside on way to My Son Sanctuary.

My Son is thick in the middle of the jungle.

To which I replied back.

"No I'm not, I'm at work."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrGoodGlow
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2015
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Which country has the most irritating city?

Vietnam, its very Hannoying

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/will_12468
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2016
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I laughed at my own joke (I was the only one)

The following is a text exchange between me and a friend:

Friend: Arrived safely in Vietnam. See you in a few weeks!

Me: Glad to hear You've reached your destinASIAN!

Bonus points: I used the asian face character emoji!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stillnoxsleeper
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
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Dadjoked my history teacher in class

So, in class we were talking about the Vietnam War and while talking about the coup detat the teacher asks "Does anyone know what a coup is?" So I say "a place where they hold chickens"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FireNinja67
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30 2015
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