So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the paramedic say to the patient who needed to vent?

ICU later.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dr_gaia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Somebody needed to vent
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brandondsantos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend called an said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...

Sounds like another case of the flue.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.

Definitely not cool

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrMasterBlaster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My best friend wanted to vent to me about his inability to perform a proper bench press in the gym... I told him to get it off his chest.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from Mexican prison...

After I duct, I found I conduit!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
vent reznor
πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wookinpanub1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Vent Reznor
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zomgz0mbie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Vent Reznor.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 168
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/big_lebrewski
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2015
🚨︎ report
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.

It was a reduction.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/faireduvelo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I was called out to clear a ventilation blockage. Vents were labelled A-Z. Most of them were blocked, but in any E vent things worked out OK.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/peteplusplus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.

I was charged with draft-dodging!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DinglebarryHandpump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Vent Reznor
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/renduh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Hey, it's "Vent" Reznor, everybody!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/blipblapblorp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2013
🚨︎ report
During cool weather, I turned on the fans in my car. Hot air comes out of the vents.

Climate ConTroll.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/troyanonymous1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2011
🚨︎ report
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow

It was our last warming.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SpontaneouslyPickled
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me about her hard day. That's when I knew she was the imposter...

She vented.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dustanjhlady
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The taylor at the local men's clothing shop kept trying to help me find wedding attire despite my wishes. He finally gave up and said

Suit yourself

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/diceblue
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I installed a new range hood for an oven

Wife: You need to knock out the vent hole.

Me: I think due to the pandemic, we should wait.

Wife: Why?

Me: The country is low on vent hole laters.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/8Heists
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do impostors do In front of therapists?

They vent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My gaming buddy who works at Walter Reed told that he knows who the impostor is

He told me he "saw orange vented".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GasDoves
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Blanch: "Why did pickling upset you so badly? Is everything ok?" Me: "The whole experience was quite jarring...."

Blanch: "I get it. That can leave you in a bad headspace but, I'm an open kettle - you can tell me anything."

Me: "I just need to vent, Blanch."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pj566
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?

Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_piech_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The ACTUAL holy crossover avent
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TittenTatten
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Last year we did a Secret Santa where everyone had to give each other furnace parts. I'm so ticked for the stupid gift I got.

Sorry. I just gotta vent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was venting to my dad about how frustrating it is to still be stuck in undergrad.

He told me not to worry, I'm still in my prime.

I'm 23.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/C21H27Cl3N2O3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2017
🚨︎ report
WARNING- If you dont social distance yourself now, you will

vent later

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My job installing air ducts is very frustrating...

thank goodness I get to VENT a lot.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Made my 11 yr old laugh and my wife roll her eyes this kornint. It was a good day.

My 2 yr old is constantly dropping small toys down the grate on the air return and a couple rolled out if site. This morning, I stuck my head down it and found a couple the had been missing for a couple weeks. Yay, dad!

My wife told me "She likes to drop her toys down there when she's angry."

I told her "you can't be upset. She's just venting!"

Groans and laughs ensued.

Edit: "this morning." What the hell is a kornint?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tbare
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2017
🚨︎ report
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful

But it turns out to just be blowing hot air

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zorgogx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2018
🚨︎ report
In one of my statistics classes, we were given a task to measure and analyze the fumes coming from tailpipes of various cars and to track their environmental impact.

It was exhausting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sum_buddy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2017
🚨︎ report
When my furnace broke down for the second time this week, I called the repairmen...

And vented my anger. We got into a heated argument. I later apologized for losing my cool after he told me he was a temp working to complete his degree. We agreed to meet for some cold beers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a band called "The Boxers"

I think we'll have some hits.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BradC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2017
🚨︎ report
The HVAC pro was madder than heck...

He just needed somewhere to vent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rant from the chosen one?

An heir vent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joshers2005
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Air conditioner technicians...

love to vent about their job in order to cool off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2076baseballbat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad and I were installing ductwork in our basement and he was getting really really frustrated about something.

I asked him if everything was ok, he looks at me and says:

"I just need a vent"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2017
🚨︎ report
So let me tell you a little about my situation. It's currently about -12Β°F outside and my HVAC just broke. So, I decided to build a fire, but it turns out I can't use my fireplace because it needs a new flue, and I'm sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this

but I just need t(w)o vent(s) right now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BuddyEndsleigh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the first guy to give a cold shoulder while crawling around in duct work?

It was quite the in vent shun.

Daddy deserves a spanking for that joke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Got the coworkers good the other day.

So I work construction and it was me and 2 other guys working a few days ago. Working in an unfinished home when my coworker drops a tape measure in a small floor vent. Me being the smallest guy in the crew he asked me to see if I could reach it because he can't fit his arm in to grab it. So I was able to get it but it scrapped up my arm pretty good.

Coworker says "dang, that looks like it hurt, we could've gotten it another way. You didn't need to do that."

I reply with "It's okay, desperate times call for desperate measures."

Much grunting ensued.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sirbrowses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2016
🚨︎ report
My cousin sprung this one on me while we were talking about cars

Me: I wonder how the Lamborgini Aventador got it's name.

Cousin: Well look at it from the side

Me: Why?

Cousin: Well because there's a vent and a door

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SkywardSpork
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2014
🚨︎ report
[LONG] Found this on my girlfriend's Dad's facebook.

Sorry, but I need to vent!! So I went to Target to get some clearance Halloween stuff. I noticed this lady was staring at me in the same aisle I was in. No biggie. I moved to the next aisle and here she comes. Again... STARING! So now I'm like, What is her problem?! I finish up my shopping and head to the check out line. Of course who is there ahead of me but this same lady. She turns around and starts staring again. So I start playing with my phone b/c I'm getting a little uncomfortable. Finally she says "I want to apologize for staring at you, but you look just like my son who just passed away." I felt really bad after that and gave her my condolences. She says "Thank you...but I have a favor to ask. I know it's weird and understand if you don't want to, but can you give me a hug and say 'Bye Mama' to me?" Inside I was like buuuuh?!??!, but understanding grief the way that I do, I went ahead and did it. She smiles, thanks me, and leaves. The cashier rings up my stuff and the total comes out to $100.87. I knew something wasn't right, because it should have been like $40 or so. The cashier then tells me that my total was included with my mom's. I'm like, "What?!!!" She said, "Your mom said you were paying for her last few items along with your things. I told her that the woman was most definitely NOT my mom. She said, well I saw you hug her and heard you call her mama. I'm like OMG...I flew out of the store looking for this horrible person, ready to drag her back in, I see her loading up her car! She saw me and jumped in her car, I got to her as she was putting her leg in, and I started pulling her leg hard enough that her wooden leg came off!! Omg how is this happening right now?! So I grabbed her other leg and started pulling! Just like I'm pulling yours right now!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/haucker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked at chilis today

Stepmother: its so cold in here

Patron: yeah we are sitting right under the vents.

Dad: thats why its called chilis!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lemywincks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2014
🚨︎ report
I dadjoked my brother so good yesterday

So my brother was venting to me about this girl he was in a relationship with but is no longer with her.

Brother: ...I'm over her.

Me: Well are you taller than her?

Brother: Yeah...

Me: Then of course you're over her.

I then proceed to crack up while he takes a deep breath.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kolinskyfeet
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2015
🚨︎ report
I consider myself a decent purveyor of dad jokes, but my dad showed me there is still much to learn from him

I was drinking in an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago when the building suffered a malfunction. The register cover of the air conditioning vent was not secured to the wall and worked its way loose, hitting me and a friend. I ended up with a cut on my forehead, a spiffy blue bandaid from the kitchen first aid kit, and a comped bar tab.

My dad told me I should have duct.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tasty_rogue
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2014
🚨︎ report
When my dad discovered "that's what she said" a few years ago.

He was cleaning out the dryer vent.

"There's a lot of crap in here....heh, that's what she said."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sonalis1092
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad is cooking some potent smelling chicken...

Mom: > Can you please put on the vent?

Dad: > I'm more of a pants kind of guy, but if you really want me to...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-hellokitty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.