I was venting to my dad about how frustrating it is to still be stuck in undergrad.

He told me not to worry, I'm still in my prime.

I'm 23.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C21H27Cl3N2O3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Somebody needed to vent
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brandondsantos
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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What did the paramedic say to the patient who needed to vent?

ICU later.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dr_gaia
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow

It was our last warming.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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What do microwave dinners and disappointed movie directors have in common?

Cut film to vent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/psychodelephant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.

Definitely not cool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrMasterBlaster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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My friend called an said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...

Sounds like another case of the flue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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vent reznor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wookinpanub1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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My best friend wanted to vent to me about his inability to perform a proper bench press in the gym... I told him to get it off his chest.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from Mexican prison...

After I duct, I found I conduit!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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I was playing among us and someone accused me that i was impostor

I just need to vent about it for a bit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkblade768
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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My wife told me about her hard day. That's when I knew she was the imposter...

She vented.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dustanjhlady
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Vent Reznor.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_lebrewski
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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Vent Reznor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zomgz0mbie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.

It was a reduction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/faireduvelo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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I was called out to clear a ventilation blockage. Vents were labelled A-Z. Most of them were blocked, but in any E vent things worked out OK.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peteplusplus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.

I was charged with draft-dodging!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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The taylor at the local men's clothing shop kept trying to help me find wedding attire despite my wishes. He finally gave up and said

Suit yourself

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceblue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Vent Reznor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/renduh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
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Hey, it's "Vent" Reznor, everybody!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blipblapblorp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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What do impostors do In front of therapists?

They vent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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I installed a new range hood for an oven

Wife: You need to knock out the vent hole.

Me: I think due to the pandemic, we should wait.

Wife: Why?

Me: The country is low on vent hole laters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8Heists
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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The ACTUAL holy crossover avent
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TittenTatten
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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My gaming buddy who works at Walter Reed told that he knows who the impostor is

He told me he "saw orange vented".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GasDoves
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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During cool weather, I turned on the fans in my car. Hot air comes out of the vents.

Climate ConTroll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/troyanonymous1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2011
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Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?

Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_piech_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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Blanch: "Why did pickling upset you so badly? Is everything ok?" Me: "The whole experience was quite jarring...."

Blanch: "I get it. That can leave you in a bad headspace but, I'm an open kettle - you can tell me anything."

Me: "I just need to vent, Blanch."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Last year we did a Secret Santa where everyone had to give each other furnace parts. I'm so ticked for the stupid gift I got.

Sorry. I just gotta vent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Made my 11 yr old laugh and my wife roll her eyes this kornint. It was a good day.

My 2 yr old is constantly dropping small toys down the grate on the air return and a couple rolled out if site. This morning, I stuck my head down it and found a couple the had been missing for a couple weeks. Yay, dad!

My wife told me "She likes to drop her toys down there when she's angry."

I told her "you can't be upset. She's just venting!"

Groans and laughs ensued.

Edit: "this morning." What the hell is a kornint?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbare
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2017
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My job installing air ducts is very frustrating...

thank goodness I get to VENT a lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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WARNING- If you dont social distance yourself now, you will

vent later

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful

But it turns out to just be blowing hot air

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zorgogx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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In one of my statistics classes, we were given a task to measure and analyze the fumes coming from tailpipes of various cars and to track their environmental impact.

It was exhausting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sum_buddy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
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When my furnace broke down for the second time this week, I called the repairmen...

And vented my anger. We got into a heated argument. I later apologized for losing my cool after he told me he was a temp working to complete his degree. We agreed to meet for some cold beers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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I'm starting a band called "The Boxers"

I think we'll have some hits.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
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The HVAC pro was madder than heck...

He just needed somewhere to vent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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Air conditioner technicians...

love to vent about their job in order to cool off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2076baseballbat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
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My dad and I were installing ductwork in our basement and he was getting really really frustrated about something.

I asked him if everything was ok, he looks at me and says:

"I just need a vent"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
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So let me tell you a little about my situation. It's currently about -12Β°F outside and my HVAC just broke. So, I decided to build a fire, but it turns out I can't use my fireplace because it needs a new flue, and I'm sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this

but I just need t(w)o vent(s) right now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuddyEndsleigh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
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I dadjoked my brother so good yesterday

So my brother was venting to me about this girl he was in a relationship with but is no longer with her.

Brother: ...I'm over her.

Me: Well are you taller than her?

Brother: Yeah...

Me: Then of course you're over her.

I then proceed to crack up while he takes a deep breath.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kolinskyfeet
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2015
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Did you hear about the first guy to give a cold shoulder while crawling around in duct work?

It was quite the in vent shun.

Daddy deserves a spanking for that joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
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Got the coworkers good the other day.

So I work construction and it was me and 2 other guys working a few days ago. Working in an unfinished home when my coworker drops a tape measure in a small floor vent. Me being the smallest guy in the crew he asked me to see if I could reach it because he can't fit his arm in to grab it. So I was able to get it but it scrapped up my arm pretty good.

Coworker says "dang, that looks like it hurt, we could've gotten it another way. You didn't need to do that."

I reply with "It's okay, desperate times call for desperate measures."

Much grunting ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirbrowses
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2016
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My cousin sprung this one on me while we were talking about cars

Me: I wonder how the Lamborgini Aventador got it's name.

Cousin: Well look at it from the side

Me: Why?

Cousin: Well because there's a vent and a door

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkywardSpork
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2014
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[LONG] Found this on my girlfriend's Dad's facebook.

Sorry, but I need to vent!! So I went to Target to get some clearance Halloween stuff. I noticed this lady was staring at me in the same aisle I was in. No biggie. I moved to the next aisle and here she comes. Again... STARING! So now I'm like, What is her problem?! I finish up my shopping and head to the check out line. Of course who is there ahead of me but this same lady. She turns around and starts staring again. So I start playing with my phone b/c I'm getting a little uncomfortable. Finally she says "I want to apologize for staring at you, but you look just like my son who just passed away." I felt really bad after that and gave her my condolences. She says "Thank you...but I have a favor to ask. I know it's weird and understand if you don't want to, but can you give me a hug and say 'Bye Mama' to me?" Inside I was like buuuuh?!??!, but understanding grief the way that I do, I went ahead and did it. She smiles, thanks me, and leaves. The cashier rings up my stuff and the total comes out to $100.87. I knew something wasn't right, because it should have been like $40 or so. The cashier then tells me that my total was included with my mom's. I'm like, "What?!!!" She said, "Your mom said you were paying for her last few items along with your things. I told her that the woman was most definitely NOT my mom. She said, well I saw you hug her and heard you call her mama. I'm like OMG...I flew out of the store looking for this horrible person, ready to drag her back in, I see her loading up her car! She saw me and jumped in her car, I got to her as she was putting her leg in, and I started pulling her leg hard enough that her wooden leg came off!! Omg how is this happening right now?! So I grabbed her other leg and started pulling! Just like I'm pulling yours right now!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/haucker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2015
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Dadjoked at chilis today

Stepmother: its so cold in here

Patron: yeah we are sitting right under the vents.

Dad: thats why its called chilis!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lemywincks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2014
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I consider myself a decent purveyor of dad jokes, but my dad showed me there is still much to learn from him

I was drinking in an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago when the building suffered a malfunction. The register cover of the air conditioning vent was not secured to the wall and worked its way loose, hitting me and a friend. I ended up with a cut on my forehead, a spiffy blue bandaid from the kitchen first aid kit, and a comped bar tab.

My dad told me I should have duct.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tasty_rogue
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
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