A comic series my friend is making about a mustachioed private detective, Jim Velvet and his bumbling partner Humphrey
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rezikmon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m a big fan of velvet, but I can be suede
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Theezorama
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Microsoft has started researching about clothes made of cotton and velvet.

They really want to get into the soft-wear industry.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a fine line between corduroy and velvet.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/belsie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I just bought a book about The Velvet Underground to read whilst on the toilet...

It's my loo reading.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NickNickNick89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2015
🚨︎ report
My father's favorite joke.

My dad passed away about 3 years ago. Now that I am a dad as well I thought I would pass on his favorite joke, bear with me cuz its long, but worth it...

A poor man who lives in a straw hut wants to to impress his neighbor. So he works for 3 months, enough to buy a fancy chair at the market. He calls his neighbor over for dinner one night and has him sit in the chair at dinner. He asks his neighbor, " isn't this a very nice chair? " To which the neighbor replies "it's okay i guess"...

Heartbroken, after the neighbor leaves, the man takes the chair upstairs and puts it in a closet and thinks.. maybe it was not a nice enough chair...

He then works 6 months, leaves his little straw hut and hitches a ride to the city and buys an extravagant chair with velvet padding. Once again he has his neighbor over for dinner, this time the neighbor says "it's nice, but I've seen better"

Sad, the man stores the chair in the upstairs closet. But the man could not be deterred.

He then worked for an entire year, left his little straw hut and went all the way to the capitol and bought a gaudy, gold painted chair with lion motifs and silk pillows.

The neighbor comes over to dinner and says. "Wow, what an ugly chair!"

Furious, the man grabs the chair, marches upstairs and throws it in the closet with such force that his entire straw hut collapses.

I guess people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones...

πŸ‘︎ 255
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/graffd02
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a monsters favorite kind of sweets?

Dead velvet cake.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zomboy_5097
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A man burst into a ski resort in Vale, Colorado.

He shouted into the room, "Everywhere I go, there's a black bird that sticks to me. He sticks to my fleece jacket, my wool hat, even my velvet gloves!"

The concierge shakes his head and says, "Oh, that's just the Vale crow."

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The Bakery (It’s a story)

So I went to a bakery right. I wanted a cake for a friends party. When I asked for a red velvet (his fave) they said they didn’t have any. Well that kinda put me in a sour mood to be honest. One of the bakers pulled me aside and told me he could make one for me. This man really rose to the occasion and saved my day. He even cut the fee (It was the yeast they could do) and I didn’t rye about the wait. I mean if someone is baking you a cake personally I doughnut think you can complain. At the end of the day I got my cake and that was that.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSleepyWulf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.