The local brewery are trying to figure out who's been swimming in the vats of fermented apple juice

They're fairly certain the culprit is an incider.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Man dies after falling into a giant coffee vat...

His wife told reporters, "He didn't suffer, it was instant."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2022
🚨︎ report
I am watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The beginning. I get to the part where the heroine is hiding in a vat of waste from the slaughter house. I can't help but think, well that's just offal
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abbara_Cadaver
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2022
🚨︎ report
Cheese-vat-related deaths are rare, but dramatic.

Casein point: Cheese company worker from N.J. killed after falling into mixing machine

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/triggur
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Mate died today by falling into a vat of coffee!

Luckily it was instant

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-am-Just-Sam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My Uncle was found dead in a vat of Tippex.

The Police say there’s no suspicious circumstances but I’m beginning to suspect a cover-up.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I once fell into a vat of butcher's waste...

It was offal!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
🚨︎ report
My neighbour died after falling into a giant vat of coffee, but thankfully didn’t suffer.

It was instant.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy got his foot stuck in a vat of milk.

Truly, leg in dairy.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scruffyfan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Can you see in a big vat of milk?

Not once it's past yer eyes!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgpitre
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I fell into a large vat of curry....

Was in a korma for a month.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Meatloaf has married an accountant

She will do anything for love but she won't do VAT.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muay_Thai_Cat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Police officer informs a wife that her husbund has been found drowned in a vat of beer.

The wife said "was it murder"? The officer said "no madam it was suicide" The wife said how" can you tell"? The police said - "On the cctv your husbund climbed out of the vat 5 times for a pee!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Azad Khan, a chef in a local Indian restaurant, overstretched and fell headlong into a vat of hot curry. An ambulance was quickly at the scene and he was taken to hospital.

Fortunately he is alive but is still in a korma.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Margaret said she once fell into a large vat of detergent at the factory she worked...

She was Marge in All.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the builder who won the lottery? He was so shocked that he fainted and fell into a vat of concrete...

Apparently he's set for life!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who fell into a vat of indigo?

He dyed.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xiams
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a marine mammal in a vat of dark blue paint?

A navy seal.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tillmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Brewery Dad Joke

I was at a brewery with some friends the other day and we all decided to sit on the same side of the long table facing the vats and brewers equipment. Waitress came by and asked why we were all facing the same way and I said β€œIts hopping over there!”

She and the table next to us all groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sohgnar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I can’t stand Russian nesting dolls,

they’re full of themselves.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrEvilsClone
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the marriage of a thin potato to a vat of hot oil?

A relationCHIP.

GET IT?!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socrathustra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who fell into a vat of molten glass?

He made a real spectacle of himself.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyTheTerrible
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2013
🚨︎ report
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wehavechocolate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m tired of defending myself for being an anti vaxxer. It’s a personal preference.

I don’t vax my floors. I don’t vax my chest hair, and I certainly don’t vax my legs.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karatesauce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I named my IPod Titanic

It’s syncing now

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Herbal essentials

Noted researcher Rosemary Fuller was involved in a lab accident today. She's working on the theory that herb-based formulas can actually reverse or accelerate the aging process. Parsley, for example, has been shown to cause rapid aging, and recent efforts have shown good results with oregano-based anti-aging serums. Ms Fuller was, unfortunately, standing near a vat of simmering oregano serum when a nearby researcher nudged her and she fell in! It appeared at first that the anti-aging serum would cause her to de-age down to nothing. Now, though, it looks like she'll be all right. The Parsley's aged Rosemary in time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berenaltorin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, β€œConstipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said β€œNo, doc, it’s dis knee.”

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.

My friend told me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, β€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. β€œTaken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
One person died during the manufacturing of the world's largest lenses.

He fell into the vat of molten optical glass and made a spectacle of himself.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohrules
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I once met Meatloaf when I was working as a car salesman.

He came in looking for a small coupe for his wife’s forthcoming birthday. He found one he liked and we completed a test drive together. The car was listed at Β£28,000 plus tax. He was deep in thought looking around the car but unfortunately for me he decided not to buy it. I was in my 20s, had a young family and working a commission only job so a couple of days later I rang him to see if anything could be done. He was keen on the car but didn’t like the Β£28,000 plus tax price tag. I assured him that this was a great price for the car, however he said that it wasn’t so much the price of the car, it was more the tax. He said, β€˜I’d do anything for love, but I won’t do VAT’

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CromulentDucky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A U.S. Naval ship is sinking off the coast of Europe

As soon as they found out they were in trouble, they started over the radio, β€œMayday, Mayday, We are Sinking, I repeat, We are sinking!”

A little while later the German Coast Guard responds, β€œ Allo, zis is zee German Coast Guard, Vat are you sinking about?”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizardofozmak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
An alchemist tried to distill gold out of urine

He went around collecting urine from taverns all around until he had huge vats of it. He boiled it down to try and get the gold from out of the liquid. When he has it all boiled away, he looks at what he has and realizes it isn't gold, but instead what we now know as phosphorus.

That's why phosphorus is on the periodic table under "P."

A story my dad just told me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyborg_Nate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report

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