Y’all hear about that country barber who accepts venison as payment, but only does bowl cuts?

Says he just wants to give folks the most bangs for their buck.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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I quit making payments on my Ford compact automobile

Now, I have completely lost my Focus.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Which digital payment system does the pope use?

Paypal

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardlysure
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
The bank want to repossess my tree house. They say I haven't kept up my mortgage payments....

I'm convinced it's a mix up from when I moved branches.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I just made my last car payment.

I still owe a lot, I'm just not paying anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of nuts only accept credit card payments?

Cashews

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soloazn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...

He re-Poe-ed them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know you can make payments using a smart watch?

What a time to be alive.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dendrobiumal
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to college after promising to make payments for tuition with tender cuts of meat...

For the next ten years, I'll be paying off my student loins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Tiger Woods make his payments?

Chip and pin

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I took out a loan with a bank who cut off your limbs if you didn’t meet the payments

Cost me an arm and a leg to keep up with their interest rates

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harry_Mote
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A man with a chicken takes a cab to the airport. Upon arrival, the cabbie insisted on taking the chicken as payment for the ride.

After all, fare is fowl.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I fell behind on payments for my exorcist...

I hope my house doesn't get repossessed.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
🚨︎ report
With mobile banking, payments are as easy as Pi.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elRobRex
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
🚨︎ report
These friars were behind on their belfry payments...

...so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JButler22093
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My dermatologist prefers payment in large bills

But all I have is shingles.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALinchpin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the cashier say when I was upset that the store didn't accept my checks as payment?

"Nothing personal."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayingMantis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
🚨︎ report
I just can't get on board with these contactless payments

without them I can barely see the machine

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottishy
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2016
🚨︎ report

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