What's the similarity between an android user and a doctor ?

Both hate Apple

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdFit5807
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I met an online user with the username Caprigirl

If you asked me, she should have made her username Capridaughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.

https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Not mine but a good pun user who made this deserves rewards
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πŸ‘€︎ u/note_than62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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What did the Reddit user say after detonating a bomb in a bank?

Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Edit: Credit to r/Teenagers for this

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ustydud
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Spoonerism users...

...are teople poo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Where does the drug user hide his drugs?

He stores them in the Addict.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChadHahn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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What do Microsoft Excel users put in their hair?

SUMPRODUCT()

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3ST3RR
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Being a wheelchair user must be wheelie hard to move on especially when someone walks out on you
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imperfectshane
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Congratulations to user Mrspeedemon!

Let Mr. PeeDemon know he's a lucky man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fartingpinetree
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Sorry in advance, dark mode users!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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The puns are strong with this user
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agarcia128
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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What did the first African cell phone user say to other African cell phone user?

Kenya here me now?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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User now must wear a Gold Snoo on their Jacket imgur.com/j2106Z8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiquidRitz
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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What do you call a dark side Force user who can't fight?

A Sithy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-have-eaten-ass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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Give my friend a creative reddit user name

I’m sure this community can do it. We will give you credit if this somehow leads to fame

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drmuffin1080
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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Why are iphone users healthier?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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Facebook has over 2 billion users, That is as big as the whole of christianity, Forget that, it is bigger than hinduism and islam. Although facebook’s messenger is probably the worst.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obaidraf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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I'm gonna start a streaming service where users can listen to different toilet sounds and bowel movements...

...I'll call it "Pottyfy".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/synoptikal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Fear not glasses users...

Next year, everyone will be seeing 20-20.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoByNature
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A pokemon go user walks into a bar

Then a sign, then a person

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingo-ninjo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are Italians better than non-deaf ASL users?

They talked with their hands before it was cool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whoaswows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Marijuana causes users to become so mellow that they may lose all interest in things that are important. It's a tension deficit disorder.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Syncing user data
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jerbinstien
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you keep a Reddit user busy?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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User name checks out.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NemotheChibi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
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What do reddit users eat during halloween

Karmamel apples

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiterallyCelery
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
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Why was Moses the first computer user?

He used the command "Control Sea"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kubrick_Fan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2015
🚨︎ report
I heard that 3.14% of internet users are

Ο€-rates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
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iPhone user plays "Splinter Cell"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncman11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
That was really cold-blooded of Mark Zuckerberg to give out user data.

Time to get rid of lizard on our walls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordOfTheDarkSide
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user …

Help-desk : double click on β€œMy Computer”. Lady : I can’t see your computer.. Help-desk : No .. Click on β€œMy Computer” on your computer. Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !! Help-desk : There is an icon labelled β€œMy Computer” on your computer .. double click on it. Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teachdis
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What game do amphetamine users love to play?

Need for speed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youve_got_aids
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2016
🚨︎ report
A Reddit user bans all Czechs from his party

Username checks out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/extremefriction
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm sick and tired of people referring to meth users as tweakers.

The politically correct term is Methican Americans.

Sorry if it's been posted before, my dad actually told me this one a few nights ago and I had to post it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FReakily
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
🚨︎ report
As a reddit user of two years, I would like to share a couple of my favourites with you...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/26326312
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked a user at work today...

We were exchanging greetings.

Me: "Hey, how's it going?"

Him: "Oh, you know, same ol' thing. Another day, another dollar."

Me: "Well, you should probably ask for a raise..."

There was a moment of silence before he realized what had happened.

I was much too amused with myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cloneofcloneofme
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2015
🚨︎ report
What blood type does a clumsy keyboard user have?

Type-O

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2017
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As an Android user, I finally gave in and bought my first Apple device. I have to say I'm impressed, even if it only has a single-core processor

Pic of my new device here - http://i.imgur.com/UwQ8ZUE.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/borick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2014
🚨︎ report
I'm in IT Support. A user dad joked me this morning. . .

Me: i have a ticket for you

User: i guess i gotta sign up for defensive driving

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikkoplease
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2015
🚨︎ report
What did the Reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?

EDIT: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altus-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What would a Reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?

EDIT : Wow this blew up! Thanks for the gold

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kou_hou
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report

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