Does anyone know any good sword fighting puns ? I'm trying to think of any words that have..
I was trying to draw a rectangle but my pencil broke.
Now it’s a wrecked angle.
What do you call a group of ravens trying bring crows together?
A conspiracy to commit murder.
I'm trying to eat more kale because it's healthy. But when I see it on my plate, I ask myself...
Do the ends really justify the greens?
I'm trying a bold approach to my IT applications
I'm trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament,
but good players are really hard to find.
I was trying to make a construction joke
I just couldn’t build up to it
I keep trying to successfully cover "Yes, We Have No Bananas".
So far, my attempts are fruitless.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Why finding a source of clean water is the most important to-do when trying to survive?
Because thirst things first.
I failed miserably trying to make the nurse laugh while getting my first dose of the vaccine.
She told me to come back in a month for another shot.
My Child asked me “what is a dark joke?” I said to him “you see that man trying to find his car?”
My son looks at me and says, “you know I’m blind right?” Me being me said “Exactly”
For years I’ve been searching through record shops trying to find rare original U2 vinyls
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
I’m trying to grow auto parts on my farm.
I’m expecting a bumper crop.
My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"
A young Indian couple was trying to have a quiet wedding, but their family refused and made them have a big wedding instead. What fruit did they serve at the event?
I was trying to create a super soldier in my lab, but I accidentally created a very thin man who could tell the future.
At least I was still able to make a slight prophet.
My wife said she's leaving me because I spend to much time trying to get reddit points for dad jokes.
An English ship on the way to Germany suddenly starts making water and is about to capsize.. After some trying they finally manage to reach the coastguard "We're sinking, we're sinking!!"
.. A confused but also quite curious voice responds.. "What are you sinking about?"
You seen the ad campaign trying to get people to adopt dachshunds?
“Get a long, little doggy.”
I was trying to think of something funny to say about the last time I went to the pub with my mates...
But all I can think of are inn-jokes.
My girlfriend from college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I wonder what she’s up to now.
I was out by the street trying to hitchhike but every single car I stuck my thumb out for just passed me by. I began to wonder if it had something to do with the cargo shorts I was wearing.
So I went home and put on some carstop shorts, and had much better success at hitchhiking after that.
I got tired trying to think of a good posting title for this one.
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is “improvement”.
Because there’s always room for improvement.
I bought a container of protein powder, but then had to spend several seconds with my fingers knuckle-deep in the powder itself, trying to fish out the little plastic scoop that’s included.
Man I’m glad that’s out of the whey.
After years of trying, a woman tells her husband she is pregnant.
The man, tearing up, takes his wife's hand and says, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm going to be a dad."
I'm trying to get better at making jokes from blending words together, but all my attempts turn out bad
Despite all my effort, I can't produce more than a poormansteau at best
How many boats are trying to get through the Suez Canal now that it's unblocked?
I'm sick and tired of people coming into my house, trying to sell me books, and then just marching out and leaving the door wide open.
Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?
if someone drinks the same tea every day with no interest in trying any new blends
Trying to figure out which picture is better of my son.
I have one without a filter and one with a filter https://imgur.com/BCc6kx4.jpg
I can’t take my dog to the park as all the ducks keep trying to bite him...
My fault for getting one that’s pure bread.
I was trying come up with a series of jokes about Legos
But I never managed to put a set together.
Not trying to brag, but....
Cashiers are always checking me out
Did you hear that Elon Musk is trying to add Anti-German features to the new Tesla?
He is trying to add Hans free steering.
After hours of trying, I finally got the lid off a can
I caught a man trying to break into my house last night. He was wearing football pads, swimming trunks, ice skates and holding a baseball bat.
I said, “Oi, what’s your game?”
I toiled for hours trying to come up with a good joke about airplanes.
In the end, I felt like the punchline would just go over everybody's head.
I was trying to learn how to snap my fingers...
My wife was trying decide between sweep rowing [4 or 8 rowers, one oar each] and sculling [one rower, two oars].
I told her she had to choose one oar the other.
Going into the bathroom in the middle of the night trying not to wake up anybody is like a psychiatrist.
I keep trying to look at my child Adam,
But I keep getting the son in my eyes.
I’m trying to create a suspenseful astrology joke.
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
I'm trying to organise a hide and seek tournament.
But good players are hard to find.
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