Don't ever try eating a clock if you're in a hurry

It's time consuming

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you feel that r/puns should have a feature where someone posts an image and everyone tries to makes puns about it(the image) in the comment section?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormbreaker636
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't try to eat the chickens in Minecraft.

They're too gamey.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YDAQ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If I were you, I wouldn’t try the sushi

It’s a little fishy

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Fancy stores are now adding bleach packets to their clothing that explodes if you try to steal them

Police say it’s a great a crime detergent

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MLaBolle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I woodn’t try it if I were you...
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't even try it.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shakezilla
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
You really should try archery while blindfolded.

You don't know what you're missing.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked you to pretreat those pants, you better not try to make the puppy do it..

or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"

(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Let me try uncle gravity next
πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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What do you call an alligator that always tries to stir up trouble

An Instigator

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsKnotThatBad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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My friend always told me to try different types of tea instead of drinking only Earl Grey.

He was right all oolong.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakwag1019
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my Hispanic friends.

It means a lot to them.

πŸ‘︎ 258
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaceAltair
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

β€œYou can't cut me down,” the tree complains. β€œI’m a talking tree!”

The man responds, β€œYou may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."

"That's the goal at least."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Been meaning stop here for breakfast...everyone says I have to try their gloryholes.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bozo_dubbed_over
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't try to high five an executioner....

They'll leave you hanging.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demented_Sandwich
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
American Airlines Magazine Cover: Unsung Heroes - Sandwiches you’ve never heard of but need to try
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rosieSpose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
At Thanksgiving this year I’m going to try to not show my disdain for my Vegan relatives.

They hate it when you have a beef with them. And last year they seemed offended when I gave them the bird.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4cml
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a department of the United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.

UNEEDCHEF

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife suggestions for an exercise routine, and she said, β€œWhy don’t you try lunges?”

I said, β€œThat...sounds like a big step.”

πŸ‘︎ 178
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to try my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.

Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

πŸ‘︎ 351
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother wants to try skydiving so I warned him that...

It has so many downfalls.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just_arrived_here
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I try and keep track of how much toffee I consume.

I keep a Heath Ledger

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
We need to uninstall 2020 and then try reinstalling it

The current version has a nasty virus

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachmann99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I try to use the word mucho as much as I can around my Spanish-speaking friends.

It means a lot to them.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought I'd try my hand at snail racing.

My thinking was that if I take their shells off, that they'd be lighter and quicker.

All it did was make them a bit sluggish.

πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMDR-Hooker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I try to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....

It's all about raisin awareness

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.

But No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDragonIron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a russian black-magician tries to cook canadian food?

You get a ras***poutine***

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_roh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Just had a dealer try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.'

Obviously a sham rock.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a new drug going around that is nicknamed β€œangle”. My friends want to try it with me, but I took a D.A.R.E. course and don’t want to do drugs, so my friends make fun of me.

I guess I’m just too square to try angle.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopTarnekPop
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do astronomers always try to lose?

They’re only interested in the constellation prize.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmk100
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I decided to try growing pot...

So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all. Just water it with Kettle One and wok away without really frying. Hopefully it’ll produce a nice stock.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
So I try to eat healthy

But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SprxtGaming
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
After the Sex change operation, The Juggler is too scared to try juggling again.

It seems he doesn’t have the balls to do it again.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Aarsh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
First child born in a couple of weeks so I thought to give it the good ol try. Sometimes when I’m down I go to the mall and use the elevator.

So it can lift me up and make my day better.

I tried to OC.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnpowers99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I'll try but cloths on.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/recoro06
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My cousin tries to keep posting jokes on this sub, but gets repeatedly banned by the mods.

He’s my cousin, twice [removed].

πŸ‘︎ 544
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..

But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I try speaking to my grandfather in his urn.

I have a feeling he is turning a deaf ear.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally gave Japanese Natto a try

It is natto my liking.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lizeck
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I always try to avoid cracks in the pavement
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coprywriter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report

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