I caught a man trying to break into my house last night. He was wearing football pads, swimming trunks, ice skates and holding a baseball bat.
I said, “Oi, what’s your game?”
My dad once told me that if I put a potato in my swim trunks, I would attract more women...
He forgot to tell me to put the potato in the front
Why is the skin of tree trunks called bark?
Why can’t two elephants swim at the same time?
They only have a pair of trunks.
-my grandfather, just 5 minutes ago.
What do you do if an elephant doesn’t fit in your car?
What do you call wet swim trunks?
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
When is a trunk not a trunk?
When it's ajar!!!
I know, I know...
I’ve got a spare in the trunk
Why do the cops keep water in the trunk?
So that their siren does not die
What is gray, has four legs, and a trunk?
A mouse going on a vacation
Why did the elephant go to jail?
He had a dead guy in his trunk.
What do you call an elephant with a stuffy nose?
When my British friend goes out in the wilderness, he sleeps in his car trunk...
Nice new car son.. What's that thing on the trunk?
What do you call a suitcase full of stolen jazz instruments?
How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant?
Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun
What does a shy elephant wear when he goes swimming?
It must be tough working in the shipping and receiving department of a zoo.
No one ever addresses the elephant in the room.
My grandpa always kept a trunk full of sketches by famous artists...
It was a chest of drawers.
A boy complains to his father: 'You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!'
Father: 'Really, what?'
Boy: 'That the potato should go in the front.'
A tree trunk impaled my computer
I asked my friend if he knew a pachyderm famous for its trunk. He suggested Dumbo.
But that was Ear-Elephant.
If you're buying a car for your elephant, make sure it has plenty of trunk space.
What is grey, has a tail and a large trunk?
A mouse going on a holiday.
TIL: Two elephants of the same herd won’t go into the same body of water together at the same time.
It’s because they only have one pair of trunks between the two of them.
What’s big and grey and doesn’t matter?
This is a series of dad jokes that all relate to each other and form a dad joke story so bear with me.
How do you kill a blue elephant?
(How?)
With a blue elephant gun.
How you you kill a pink elephant?
(With a pink elephant gun?)
No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
(No clue...?)
So they can hide in cherry trees
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
(Of course not)
Then clearly it works
Why is the tree in the water?
I once saw an elephant at the zoo named Trunk
I thought that was a little on the nose.
Why should you keep a pin and a bowling ball in the trunk of your car?
To make sure you always have a spare.
If you're riding an elephant, you should wear a backpack
You can't put your stuff in the trunk.
There is ivy growing up the trunk of a tree at my house. I don't really want to do anything about it though.
It could really use some devine intervention.
Last night, I couldn't find my normal pajamas, so I put on swim trunks.
My wife asked, "why are you wearing swim trunks right now?"
Because, I'm about to dive into bed!
A tree walks into a bar...
The bartender says,
"Go home tree, you're trunk."
Why can't an elephant forget?
He has a trunk full of memories.
What is gray, has four legs, and a trunk?
A mouse going on vacation.
What is grey, has 4 legs and a trunk?
POTATOES IN TRUNKS
Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!
Father: Really, what?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front.
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