My Cousin Blames Me For Him Tripping On His Own Driveway.
I don’t understand, it’s his own stupid asphalt.
I just saw my wife tripping and dropping a bunch of clothes she just ironed.
In my my neighbor's home, their huge dog frequently sleeps at the landing at the top of their tall staircase causing a possible tripping hazard. Good advice to them....
Persons in their household should watch their steps, particularly early risers.
What did the Dentist say when tripping balls on LSD?
I’m feeling pretty sore after tripping over some clams.
I think I might’ve pulled a mussel.
I was out in the desert on psychedelics , and I started tripping way too hard. So I took an acid reducer.
It didn't help me one bit!!!!
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day.
Look out for tripping hazards today.
It's the first day of Fall.
No laces but I'm still tripping
My friend said she's been tripping a lot lately
I told her she should visit tripadvisor.com
Why did the shoe keep tripping?
It was laced with something.
Did y'all here about the tripping scam?
Road-tripping with the family and coming up on the last rest stop for miles...
"Anyone need to go? Speak now or forever hold your pees!"
These seed pods that our daughter keeps tripping on suck!!
Me: yeah, they really are the pits!
I tripped over my wife’s bra...
Why did the cyborg have to rest after his long road trip?
Because he had a hard drive
When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"
I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"
My buddy Miles went on a Europe trip after his graduation.
He loved the culture so much he changed his name to Kilometres.
Why was the camping trip so stressful?
Because it was in tents...
Well.. We made another trip around the sun.
But it's the earth's rotation that really makes my day.
Road trip - why did the Dad tell the kids to take out their pencil and pad?
The sign said Draw bridge.
My girlfriend and I have been really stressed and having some issues so we decided to take a mini vacation, a weekend trip to a ski resort.
Everything started off well, but things went downhill really fast.
After all my travel in 2020 was cancelled, I'm now facing the COVID reality that my Spring Break trip is not going to happen either. I just told my suitcases this sad fact...
...and now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage
Did you hear about the supermodels on a camping trip?
They were pretty in tents.
Here's a step-by-step guide on how to fall down stairs!
Step 28
Step 27
Step 24
Step 21
Step 16
Step 12
Step 7
Step 3
Step 1
My friend David lost his ID during a trip.
My lactose intolerant friend had some cheese at the beginning of our eight hour road trip today...
Just got back from a trip to Paris...
That tower of theirs is sure an Eiffel.
People asked me what my most thrilling adventure trip was last year ... heli-skiing, skydiving, or camping...
Hands down camping. It was so in tents.
What do you call it when Walter White has a bad trip?
Did you hear about the porter potty camping trip?
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captain’s birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, “Arrr! That was a costly mistake...”
“We lost a lot of doubloons.”
What did Homer say when he didn't bag a female deer on the hunting trip?
Recent Trip to the Grocery Store
I was just in a checkout line at the grocery store and the man behind me was going on and on in broken English about being from some Neo-Mediterranean superpower. He got my attention, pointed to a newspaper above the belt, and asked what it was. I replied “It’s the Times, New Roman.”
So I was buying cheese the other day when the clerk came out with a large wheel. Problem is, they tripped, landing on the wheel and crushed it. He asked if I still wanted it. I said no. He asked why.
I simple told him "It's no Gouda!"
Be careful when you book your family camping trips; my wife was menstruating last time, and she couldn't enjoy herself at all...
... It certainly was an in tents period.
I've just finished writing a book about using stairs...
It's a step by step guide.
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
Just got back from a pleasure trip.
I took my mother-in-law to the airport
My mountain-climbing trips are very well planned
I’m always on top of things
What did the antisocial person say before going on a trip?
Don't worry, I won't belong.
Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?
A: Did you hear about that train trip that John Lennon took?
B: No, what was the trip for?
A: To see his wife. It was a Yoko motive.
(original)
I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I heard once that going down a hill, a bloke tripped with a coffin, and dropped it
He went into a chemist, and said, ‘I need something to stop my coffin’
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. ..
After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
So I bought some new shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer...
Don't know what they were laced with, but I was tripping all day.
I just saw my wife trip over and drop a basket of clothes she just ironed.
I just saw my wife trip over and drop the basket of clothes she just ironed.
Tripped over my wife's bra.
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.
They were high-tops
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what they were laced with but I was tripping all day.
I bought some new shoes from my drug dealer today...
I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!
I walked into the bedroom today and tripped over my wife’s bra.
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