A man should always carry a knife. It can cut your food, open beer bottles, be a screwdriver, or even be used as a toothpick. It works great for cleaning your fingernails, and it's quite useful in an emergency situation

like when you have to change someone's mind.

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👤︎ u/Jan_Tik
📅︎ Dec 10 2019
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What do you call a blunt toothpick?

Pointless.

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📅︎ Mar 25 2019
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Did you know they aren't making toothpicks any longer?

They're long enough.

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👤︎ u/mrplow_08
📅︎ Sep 19 2018
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What's the difference between a toothpick and a chainsaw?

If you don't know, you better not pick your teeth!

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👤︎ u/grrlove
📅︎ Aug 05 2014
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What is brown and rhymes with stick?

Toothpick.

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👤︎ u/AgamGamez
📅︎ Jun 13 2019
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This one has been passed down from my grandfather to my father.

Dad: Did you hear they're not making toothpicks any longer?

Me: No, why?

Dad: Yeah, they're already long enough!

Hilarity ensues.

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📅︎ Nov 14 2013
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Wood Float

So when I was younger my Dad would sometimes make me a root beer float/ice cream float/coke float/etc. But one day my Dad asks me, "Hey do you want a wood float?" I'm not exactly sure what a wood float is, but my experiences with floats in general have gone AMAZINGLY well through this point in my life. So I say yes without giving it too much thought. My Dad brings me a glass of water with a toothpick in it. Enormous grin on his face. Very much the opposite on mine.

I now realize at the age of 26, that the only reason he ever made me the root beer floats and other floats, was just to set me up for one of the Daddest jokes of all time.

Having said that, I will be using this on my child.

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👤︎ u/guinos66
📅︎ Oct 21 2013
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First time I went to a restaurant with my dad

Me: Can I order something to drink other than water? Dad: Sure, you can have a pine float Me: A float, really? But what do you mean by pine? Dad: I'll let you put a toothpick in your water.

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👤︎ u/jodega
📅︎ Sep 09 2013
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My boyfriend was so proud of himself

Me: "Yikes, I have something stuck in my teeth. I need a toothpick."

I turn to him and smile.

BF, pointing at my mouth: "That one!"

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📅︎ May 22 2015
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A used toothpick is pointless.
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👤︎ u/ThickPrick
📅︎ Jul 13 2019
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A used toothpick becomes pointless
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📅︎ Jul 13 2019
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