Hardware, daddy!
they can now grow baked potatoes
Plus they gave her a spring in her step!
The doctors are now reporting his condition as "stable".
(insert wisequack here)
I said, “No, most of them smell that way.”
I am a branch manager.
So what do you call a kid that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus?
A rebel without a Claus (insert all the groans here)
I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French
So when I was younger, me and a couple of friends went on a little trip to the beach. We had a lot of fun there swimming around, making a campfire, all that jazz. Some of us wanted to build sandcastles and get em as high as we could so we could pretend we were knights protecting them.
So some kids started running around being annoying and destroying the sand castles and it got to the point where one of my friends got so protective of his castle, he started punching anyone who even got close. You know how kids are, the other ones got closer and were like “we arent even touching it, calm down!” but he wasnt having any of that so he drew a line in the sand and said “if you step over this line, i WILL punch you..”
that was the punch line >insert finger guns<
"The earliest example of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, it’s a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"
...the very, very first faux toe ;)
Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects
But it was just a pigment of my imagination
And the bartender replies with "Why the big paws?"
Catherine.
But I lost my Train of thought.
Me: I'm going to ride on a vacuum cleaner instead of a broom!
Mom who is a witch: wierd hex but okay
