I once ate two pieces of string and an hour later they came out my ass tied together
A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.
The Warden said "he's a little condescending"
I once tied my dog’s stick to a balloon, he brought it back from several miles away...
I know, it sounds a bit far-fetched.
Son tied a fist toy to my fishing net
I dont get the punchline but he's smiling
There couldn't be a tier list for knots because they would all be tied
A comedian would do a set, each show, where he sprinted to either side of the stage with his mouth tied up.
Found this glove zip tied to the stop sign across from my house.
I once tied myself to a tree to see what bondage feels like.
Turns out I was just a sad sap.
Have I told you about the time I tied my shoelaces with just the power of my mind?
I tied all my watches to my belt
too bad it was a waist of time.
The metal hooks tied to my rope broke.
I'm having a hard time grappling with this.
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
My son tied his first tie today.
I looked at him and told him "Knot bad son."
My wife was naggy with me until I tied a towl round her neck like a cape.
What do you call a woman tied up to a jetty? ...
I love how things just tied together.
Tied all my spaghetti together last night when is was drunk.
Ended up skipping dinner.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
I tied a computer mouse to my fishing road and it resulted in a highly successful catch.
Apparently, the fish love click bait.
edit:- rod*
Someone accidentally made a pun, but it got someone's attention and they ended up getting tied up together...
It was a pun knot intended.
I tied two Disney DVDs with strings and placed it inside the freezer.
Did you know that if you eat 2 pieces of string when you take your next dump they will be tied together
Robin Hood was finally captured and tied up.
The sheriff of Knottingham was the one who got him.
Two snails were in a race, and they tied.
I guess you could call it a snailmate.
Did you hear about that guy who took t-shirts and twisted them up and tied them with rubber bands, then dipped them into buckets filled with different colored liquids?
Two artists tied in a competition.
Boats are tied for the fastest thing in the universe.
They are always traveling at C.
One year for my Mom's birthday, my Dad tied the presents he had gotten for her together, and stacked them. He then did this when bringing them outside to her.
imgur.com/mwwY4DT
I think a drug dealer tied my shoes..
Cuz I've been tripping all day
Alligator dad: "Son, I once ate two small dogs and when they came out, they were tied together......
I keep my kid tied up in the backyard...
Baby goats make way too much of a mess to keep them in the house
At the La Brea tar pits: "He looks a little tongue tied!"
my party trick is swallowing two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my arse tied together....
If I swallow two pieces of strings, they will come out the other end tied together
I swallowed two strings and they came out tied together.
I once tied all my watches together to make a belt
Then I realized that it was a waist of time
I tied all my watches onto my belt, but then I realized...
It was a waist of time...
Yesterday I ate two, pieces of string and they came, out tied.
I tied all my watches into a belt, it was a waist of time.
I swallowed two pieces of string, and later they came out tied together.
I can swallow two peices of string and my poop will be tied in it
I once ate two strings, then when I pooped, they were tied together.
I once tied all my watches together to make a belt..
Then realized it was a waist of time..
My party trick is swallowing two pieces of string and an hour later they come out my arse tied together.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
