So apparently there's now a mutated virus specifically targeting people who have worthless, aggressive, mixed breed dogs.
A robot from the future decided to avoid eliminating its target for as long as possible
I tried to walk into a Target Store today...
Oh how the tides have turned.
Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome
Theyre calling it "Son-Block"
Two ninjas are sneaking up on their target when one of the ninjas asks the other: "do you think you can hit him from here?" and the ninja says:
Why did the machine gunner keep missing his targets?
He suffered from turret syndrome.
Picking my cousin up from work at Target, asked her if she's in Style this week (fitting room/clothing)
Her dad said "she's never in style, she's always out of style. Her clothes never look good"!
I bought a globe at Target...
I put it on the conveyor, and when the cashier picked it up to scan it, I said, “be careful! That means the world to me!”
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
A woman checks out of target with two apples, a banana, and a quart of ice cream. The cashier asks, “Are you single?” The woman replies, “Yes, how could you tell?”
What did the sniper say when asked why he couldn't kill his target when he realized it was his long lost best friend?
Why are there no Wal-Marts in Iraq?
Because everything is a Target.
I’ll take my ban now.
guess you could call her a missile because she really homed in on her target
A little story of a dadjoke that drove my wife crazy
When we were Christmas shopping for our kids, we went to target. After walking around for a while I got bored and eventually found a bouncy ball. It was a small inflatable basketball about tennis ball sized and being inflated instead of solid rubber, it made a louder noise when it hit the ground.
We were walking around and I was bouncing the ball. My wife got visibly irritated at the constant noise following her around and told me to please put it down. I bounced it again and said "I'm trying, but every time I do, it comes back up into my hand"
Que the groan.
I always use avocados in target practice...
I guess you could make some Glockamole.
Why did the thief target the local pizza shop??
Because they are rolling in the dough..
Why do Storm Troopers shop at Wal Mart?
Because they couldn’t find the Target
Why does Harry Potter only shop at Target?
Because he hates Waldemart.
Saw these two magazines next to each other at Target and couldn’t help myself.
Walking past the maternity department at Target, I said to my wife...
"It's great that they have clothes for both expecting parents"
https://i.imgur.com/n9YPBrD.jpg
How do you improve your archery?
With better arrow dynamics.
dart joke
Me, playing darts: Ah, that's a prime target
My friend: What?
Me: *throws dart* heel yeah, 13 pts!
Seems there's been a lot of coverage about a serial pick-pocketer that targets little people
How could anyone stoop so low?
Just got my wife at the Target
So I just had surgery and one of my restrictions is that I can't lift anything heavier than 20 lbs. Was at the Target today with the wife to return a lamp that she had purchased but then decided she didn't like. She parked the SUV and I opened the back to carry the lamp on the store. She said "What are you doing? You aren't supposed to lift anything!" I replied, "But it's light!"
Got the triple whammy. The groan, eye roll, and disgusted walk away from me and into the store. Had to carry the lamp, but it was worth it.
What do you call it when you go to Target and leave without buying anything?
I met with my friend who said he developed a weapon to harness the wind and propel it like a bullet. We took turns firing at a target he had in his yard...
My dog bit off my cat's tail off today. My dad said I should take the cat to Target
Since they are such a good retailer
Why do aliens always target farms?
Because they have a tractor beam.
Was watching the news when they reported that a woman was targeted at Walmart.
Dad: I wonder who got Walmarted at Target.
May the sales force be with you.
Q: Why doesn’t Darth Vader hire storm troopers to do his marketing?
A: Because they are always missing their sales targets!
TIL During WW2, The Allies targeted the ball bearing factory in Germany where the Nazis made all of the bearings for the war.
They were trying to get the Nazi war machine to grind to a halt
Numerous women have been targeted by a local gynecologist.
They were the victims of a smear campaign.
I tried walking into target but...
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