THIS JUST IN: A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $100,000 in large bills.
Every time I finish my jog, I like to eat a protein bar. Lately, though, I'm having trouble swallowing it
I hope it doesn't become a running gag
Did you hear about the tornado in southern USA that was swallowing everything in its path?
It was called the VoreTex-as.
my party trick is swallowing two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my arse tied together....
Ever since my son started swallowing money
I noticed some real change in him
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
My son used to keep swallowing coins when he was a kid.
I’ve definitely seen some change in him.
My dad needed the Heimlich maneuver from accidentally swallowing his food after telling a joke at dinner.
What’s the diagnosis after swallowing too many Christmas ornaments?
"Will I die from swallowing an ice cube?"
I once swallowed a book of synonyms.
It’s gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.
I just swallowed a mood ring.
Not quite sure how I feel about it.
why didn't hitlers girlfriend swallow?
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
Doctor: “How is the boy who swallowed the quarter?”
My son's a happy boy... I recently persuaded him to swallow a flashlight...
...you should have seen his face light up.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
My grandson was taken to the hospital because he swallowed a $5 bill
There was an old lady who swallowed a horse
My dog swallowed a bunch of scrabble pieces
When he goes to the bathroom it could spell trouble.
Which kind of tea is hard to swallow?
I accidentally swallowed the cat’s pill.
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
A man was swallowed whole by a whale..
He ran to the end until he was all pooped out.
I swallowed an ice cube the other day
I'm getting worried, I still haven't passed it yet
Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?
Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!
A string walks into a bar and asks for a drink...
Bartender says, "we don't serve strings here."
The string goes outside, ties himself in a knot, frays his hair.
The string goes back inside. The bartender serves him a drink and says, "hey wait a minute, weren't you that string from earlier?"
And the string says, "I'm a frayed knot!"
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small flashlight
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
What’s the hardest kind of tea to swallow?
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
My friend gave me advice on what to do if you are swallowed by a whale.
Just keep running until you’re all pooped out.
Why do swallows fly south in winter?
Because it is too far to walk
It's tough to swallow your pride.
Unless you are a cannibal lion
A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $250,000 in large bills
My party trick is swallowing two pieces of string and an hour later they come out my arse tied together.
I just swallowed a stack of Scrabble tiles by accident.
My next poop could spell disaster.
I swallowed a dictionary today.
It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.
I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I’ve accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles…
…my next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
Accidentally swallowed my cats tablets....
I once swallowed a dictionary
I had thesaurus throat ever.
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I swallowed a bunch of scrabble pieces today.
My next shit could spell disaster.
My baby just swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.
The next diaper change could spell disaster.
My dog accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles today..
His next poop could spell disaster.
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
If I swallow two pieces of strings, they will come out the other end tied together
I once swallowed a book of synonyms.
It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.
I swallowed a dictionary yesterday.
It was thesaurus throat I've ever had.
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I once swallowed a dictionary
It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.
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